Tangerines are a whorish fruit. While oranges, kiwis, and grapes are off to church to pray they won’t be eaten, tangerines rub their citrus all over everybody. I’ve never met a fruit so eager for you to eat them out. They are like that hot girl who realizes her true nature is to be a slut, regardless of what their family, friends and community think. Fair enough I say. Who am I to deny something so tasty the privilege of my mouth’s company? Since tangerines are in season now and cheap (insert hooker reference here), I’m throwing them into the mix just about everywhere. In my salad? Obviously! In my cereal? Why not! In my eggs? My mornings have never been so skank-er-licious! So inspire the whore in your date by serving up a salad with the sweet tangy flavor of bangerines!
Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Tangerine juice…with a splash of vodka
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tangerines
2. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
3. 1 tbsp HONEY
4. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
5. 3 green onions chopped coarsely
6. 1 handful raw PINE NUTS
7. ½ head romaine lettuce
8. 1 tsp red wine vinegar (not pictured, my bad)
First peel the tangerines, discarding the skin and sectioning the wedges. Squeeze ½ a tangerine’s worth of wedges into a bowl and mix into a dressing with the olive oil, honey and red wine vinegar.
Toss the lettuce, tomato, remaining tangerine wedges, green onions and pine nuts with the dressing.
Serve up this uber-healthy salad as a simple lunch or with a hearty ENTRÉE for dinner.