You know you’re in for a wild ride as soon as this melty concoction hits the tip of your tongue. The first bite should make it clear that you ain’t eating your grandmother’s sandwich. No siree! We’re talking about the next step in culinary evolution. Combining fruit, meat and cheese on bread was the inevitable next step in tasty temptations. Sure you could just make a tuna melt that would put your date to sleep long before you can lay the mack down. But why not just stick your genitals in the freezer? You won’t be needing those anyway. Our world of convenience and innovation demands that you take a few extra steps to get what you REALLY want. This sandwich will only take you a few extra minutes, which will be paid for in dividends when you are reclined, sweaty and gasping for air. This kiwi melt should melt resistance and clothes right off. What are you waiting for? Make New Zealand proud!
Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Ice tea or SLUTTY TEMPLE
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp FIG jam
2. 1 English muffin
3. 2-OZ Brie cheese
4. 2 kiwis
5. 2 bacon slices
Prep the kiwis by cutting the ends off, slicing into them, peeling away the skin and cutting round slices.
Fry up the bacon until it’s crispy, and then cut into pieces that will fit on the English muffin.
Split the English muffin in half. Spread the fig jam on each muffin, and then place the bacon, kiwi and slices of brie. Throw in the toaster oven (regular oven if you don’t have one) and toast until the brie melts.
Serve up these melts with a SALAD or solo.