Make room! Make room! A massive sausage is coming straight for your open mouth. There’s not a whole lot you can do but smile like a donut. But don’t fear it. Taste it. Enjoy it. Love it. There’s nothing wrong with phallic food so long as you are comfortable with yourself and enjoy good food. Just to make you feel better, you can Price Albert the sausage to make it less threatening. Throw in all the veggies and aphrodisiac avocado and you have an innocuous, yet delicious open-faced sandwich to enjoy with your date. Need I mention that you can whip these up in 10 minutes flat while you wax poetic with your game? Now drop your inhibitions and pick up that big ol’ massive meaty sausage.
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: LICK YOU LIPS MINT JULEP
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp of vegetable oil
2. 2 small slathers of mayonnaise
3. 2 large sausages (chicken, turkey or veggie OK)
4. 1 small onion chopped into strips
5. 2 slices of sourdough bread
6. ½ AVOCADO sliced thinly
7. 1 bell pepper chopped into strips
8. 1 handful of cherry tomatoes
Sauté the onion, bell pepper and cherry tomatoes in oil on medium heat (approx 4 min). Split the sausages down the middle, throw them into the pan and cook down (approx 3 min). Burst the cherry tomatoes so they stew, drawing out the cancer-fighting lycopene.
Toast the bread and slather mayonnaise on each piece. First place the peppers and then dump the sautéed pepper, onion and tomato mixture. Crown them with avocado slices and cut the open-faced sandwiches in half.
Serve these bad boys up solo or with some SOUP.