Patty cakes, salmon cakes, banger man! Bang me a salmon cake as fast as you can.

That Marie Antoinette was quite the strumpet of her day. This Versailles Vixen raised her bloomers for everyone in the court, men and women alike, except her pantywaist husband Louis XVI. What a scandal it must have been for the French queen to be a whore and the king likely gay. Every would-be suitor need only present an edible treat to Mademoiselle Antoinette and into her boudoir they would go. This was a precursor to COOK TO BANG. A little known historical fact: When Marie Antoinette said, ìLet them eat cake!î she meant salmon cakes. These are cheap and easy to create, but major crowd pleasers. If only Marie’s messenger hadn’t flubbed the message. Off with his head!

Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Beer or champagne

Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp vegetable oil
2. 1 tbsp breadcrumbs
3. 1 dash salt
5. 1 can salmon
6. 1 egg
7. 1/2 bell pepper diced

Step 1
Open and drain the salmon of water or oil, scooping the meat into a bowl. Throw in the bell pepper, salt, rep pepper flakes, egg, and breadcrumbs. Mix it together like freaky food orgy.

Step 2
Warm the oil up in a pan on medium heat. Shape 4 small salmon patties in the palms of your hand. Fry the salmon cakes in the pan until they brown (approx 3 min), and flip browning the other side (approx 2 min).

Serve up artfully with some CONDOM-MENTS like the sun dried tomato aioli pictured.

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  1. Doniree says:

    I’ve been following this site for a few months now, and this is the first recipe I’ve actually had a chance to try. LOVED it. So did my boyfriend and roommate. Nicely done.

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