HORIZONTAL MAMBO MANGO SALSA

October 24, 2008
Mambo mango cook to bango

Regular salsa shouts out “yum!” but mango salsa says you’re both, “classy and well-endowed (with ability to cook).”  This little condiments can take the mundane like a healthy (boring) baked chicken and make it magical.  You can assure that anorexic supermodel that the calories are minimal.  Besides, you’ll burn through those calories soon enough, you sex machine.

Ingredients:
1. 1 mango roughly chopped and depitted
2. 1 tomato roughly chopped
3. 1 handful of cilantro roughly chopped, stems removed
4. 1 green onion roughly chopped
5. ½ a lime
6. 1 jalapeño, deveined and deseeded, and roughly chopped

Step 1
Throw the chunks of mango, tomato, cilantro, green onion and jalapeno into a bowl and mix like a champ.  Squeeze the lime.

Step 2
Mix vigorously so the ingredients are battered around like a 50’s housewife.  Serve with chips, Mexican food, salad, or over fish/chicken.


SIMPLY SEXY SALSA

October 24, 2008
Simple enough so you can figure out how to get that damn bra off.

Simple enough so you can figure out how to get that damn bra off.

If only seduction was as simple as making salsa.  But simplicity is the root of innovation so go with it.  Salsa with chips can be a nice light meal or compliments countless dishes.  Over fish, tacos, eggs, you name it.  Be sure to tell your date you made it from only the finest ingredients, even if you bought them off a truck.

Ingredients:
1. 2 tomatoes roughly chopped
2. 1 green onion roughly chopped
3. 1 handful of cilantro roughly chopped, stems removed
4. 1 jalapeño, deveined and deseeded, and roughly chopped
5. ½ a lime
6. Salt to taste

Step 1
Throw the chunks of tomato, green onion, cilantro and jalapeno into a bowl, squeeze the lime and throw in salt to taste.

Step 2
Mix like an 80’s hip-hop DJ until the salsa break-dances on your date’s tongue via a tortilla chip or your finest taco sampler.