July 18, 2014
Come on a banging safari with me!

Come on a banging safari with me!

The Beach Boys sang about surfing safaris.  They’d travel the world surfing and singing their little hearts out.  Not a bad idea, except substitute banging for surfing, and singing for grilling.  Now we’re talking about a trip to remember.  We can squeeze in some waves and singing while in the final throes of banging.  But it’s all about beach time fun time all the time.  You don’t have time to waste in the water when you have hot tanning bodies waiting for you to invite them to chill out while you grill out.  Use the surfboard as a prop and hint that you just won a lifetime supply of sunscreen.  Offer to rub some of your grand prize onto their shoulders and lure them over to your beach shack.  Demonstrate your skills out of the water and grill them up some crazy easy, low-calorie tacos that won’t harm their swimsuit bod.  Now comes the easy part of the safari. Read the rest of this entry »


October 24, 2008
Simple enough so you can figure out how to get that damn bra off.

Simple enough so you can figure out how to get that damn bra off.

If only seduction was as simple as making salsa.  But simplicity is the root of innovation so go with it.  Salsa with chips can be a nice light meal or compliments countless dishes.  Over fish, tacos, eggs, you name it.  Be sure to tell your date you made it from only the finest ingredients, even if you bought them off a truck.

1. 2 tomatoes roughly chopped
2. 1 green onion roughly chopped
3. 1 handful of cilantro roughly chopped, stems removed
4. 1 jalapeño, deveined and deseeded, and roughly chopped
5. ½ a lime
6. Salt to taste

Step 1
Throw the chunks of tomato, green onion, cilantro and jalapeno into a bowl, squeeze the lime and throw in salt to taste.

Step 2
Mix like an 80’s hip-hop DJ until the salsa break-dances on your date’s tongue via a tortilla chip or your finest taco sampler.