Somewhere over the rainbow, something's turning me on. Must be my Wizard of Oz fantasy.

Nothing gives me a chubby like an aesthetically pleasing plate of food. Not only does it satisfy the hunger pangs, but the emotionally pangs as well. Mark my words, nothing inspires sexy time dessert quite like a beautifully presented meal. How it tastes is almost secondary to how it looks on the plate. Shallow? Perhaps. But don’t question the rules of culinary seduction unless you want that chard on to go to waste.

Total time: Approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $10
Drinking buddy: White wine

Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 1 dash sea salt
3. 1 dash crushed red CHILI flakes
4. 1 bunch rainbow chard
5. 1 lemon
6. 8 OZ linguine
7. 2 garlic cloves sliced thinly

Step 1
Wash the rainbow chard. Cut the stalks into bite-sized pieces. Cut the chard leaves into 1 inch strips. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to boil pasta.

Step 2
Warm up 1 tbsp of olive oil in a deep pan on medium heat. Saute the garlic slices until they start to brown (approx 30 sec). Toss in the chard leaf strips, drizzle with remaining olive oil, and throw the chopped chard stalks. Salt and red chili flake it all. Zest the lemon and then squeeze in all the juice. Turn the heat low and cook slowly.

Step 3
Boil the linguine al dente (approx 10 min). Drain and toss with in the pan with the veggies.

Serve solo or get all carbed up with GARLIC (MY BALLS) BREAD.

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