I'm fixin' for a vixen!
I should have known better. Vegan girls are always trouble. And it’s not just because they are a pain in the ass to feed. There’s something kooky in anyone who limits their culinary possibilities so severely. Maybe they need to take a few classes at an online cooking school to learn that food is not the enemy. But the upside is the rarity of obese vegans. Harmony was certainly no exception. She’s yoga master flex, hence me taking an interest. Picking up one’s yoga instructor is a delicate dance. The last thing you want to do is crash and burn, too humiliated to return to a class you enjoyed. I overheard Harmony gab on about her vegan diet and the explosive orgasms she enjoyed as a result, so I rocked the vegan angle. Post-yoga vegan soup on a cold Sunday evening? Harmony was on it, and on me after she sucked down my soup. Home girl demonstrated yoga possibilities I had never even wet-dreamed of. Now we have a regular Sunday Cirque du Vegan: I cook; she defies and gratifies gravity.
Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Red red wine
Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 1 can vegetable stock
2. 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
3. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
4. 1 dash salt
5. 1 dash black pepper
6. 1/2 onion chopped coarsely
7. 1 potato
8. 1 bunch radishes
9. 1 JALEPENO sliced
10. 3 saffron strands
Step 1
First rinse the potato thoroughly and chopped coarsely. Wash the radish, cut away and discard the stalks, but keep the leafy tops, coarsely chopped.
Step 2
Heat up the olive oil in the pan on medium heat. Sauté the onions until they soften (approx 2 min). Add the jalapeño slices, spicing with salt and pepper (approx 1 min). Thrown in the radish slices, chopped leaves, and potatoes. Pour in the white wine vinegar, bring to a boil, and then simmer (approx 5 min).
Step 3
Pour the stock in, add the saffron strands, and bring to a roaring boil. Turn the heat down low and simmer, covered until the veggies are super duper soft (approx 20 min). Puree the soup until it’s all a unified, banging blend.
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 
Started w/ this recipe as a base. Found it a little sour (I think due to a little too much white wine vinegar on my part). Added orange juice to brighten the flavor and honey to sweeten things only a little.
I’m allergic to jalapeno, so I used jerk powder and siracha.
I was on the phone with my girlfriend, who mentioned that her problem with these soups is that they usually lack texture and asked that I hold back some potatoes instead of pureeing everything, which was a good point and I did. But, when I finished I wanted more meat substitute, and realized that portobello mushrooms were the perfect compliment to the flavor of the soup, which I cubed, sauteed and added and was enormously happy with the result.
Wanted to share my experience. Thanks. Big fan of this site.
– Z
Mmmm… i can’t wait to try this recipe.
Er… i’m pretty sure it says ‘Chicken Broth’ on the can in the 1st image of ‘Step 3’?
Oops… don’t tell Harmony. There will be disHarmony if she finds out… 🙂
– Alice