OYSTERS BANG-A-FELLER

August 11, 2014
Act like a Rockefeller with Oysters Bang-a-Feller.

Act like a Rockefeller with Oysters Bang-a-Feller.

Ladies, there’s nothing wrong with banging a feller.  Speaking from the POV of a feller, banging is the only thing that makes us feel special.  All the fancy cars and diamond encrusted Rolexes are just means to get banged.  So make like a goddamn Rockefeller and indulge in the rich oyster power.  The aphrodisiac supernovas of the sea will get your loins revving like a golf cart run on plutonium.  Slurping them down will make you feel momentarily like the richest feller on the planet. Read the rest of this entry »


SQUISHY SQUASHY CASSEROLE

August 4, 2009
Squish squash, let's get sauced!

Squish squash, let's get sauced!

This side dish is soft to the touch, yet crunchy in all the right places.  As described, this does not sound like the hard-body of summer vegetable concoctions.  But this dish could help you get that hard beach body all the cool kids seem to be having these days.  This casserole is light, full of flavor and pack a wallop of flavor-filled fungasms.  This particular dish was an experiment in how to cook summer squash besides on the grill.  A tough act to follow.  It provided great company for the grilled chicken I served to this annoying date.  The date was a bust, but luckily I got my jollies from this casserole.  The silver lining never tasted so good.

squash casserole prepTotal time: approximately 55 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: Nice cold beer or white wine

Ingredients:
1. 1 tbsp breadcrumbs
2. 2 tbsp olive oil
3. 1 dash paprika
4. 1 dash salt
5. 1 onion chopped coarsely
6. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
7. 4 globe squash
8. 2-ounces goat cheese

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease a baking pan or deep wide pie-pan with olive oil.  Chop the squash into ½ inch rounds.  Line the pan with a layer of squash rounds, throw the onions over and crown with half of the goat cheese.  Set down another layer, use the rest of the goat cheese and crown with green onions.  Pour the remaining olive oil, season with paprika and salt, and evenly distribute the breadcrumbs over the top.
squash casserole assemble
Step 2
Throw the squash in the oven and bake until the veggies soften and the top browns (approx 45 min).  Serve up on plates as a lunch or to compliment an ENTRÉE.
squash casserole bake

AddThis Social Bookmark Button


EGGPLANT PARMESAN BOOTY BOMB

March 9, 2009
Now that I am armed with the Booty Bomb, nothing can stop me.  Muahahaha!

Now that I am armed with the Booty Bomb, nothing can stop me. Muahahaha!

Weapons of mass destruction are no doubt dangerous in the hands of terrorists.  But what about weapons of mass satisfaction?  They also pose a threat in the hands of the common man.  I found this out the hard way when I adjusted a simple recipe for eggplant Parmesan.  This already awesome dish took my game to DEFCON 5. Suddenly I could cause an orgasm in every woman in a 5 mile-radius as soon as I popped this dish into the oven.  The power did in fact go to my head. I became a super-villain indiscriminately bringing beautiful women to their knees in abject pleasure.  Lucky for mankind, a douchey superhero known as the Cock-Blocker managed to wipe my memory clean of the ingredients of this recipe. Too bad for that good two-shoes so-called hero, the Freedom of Information Act allows the rest of you access to this powerful dish.  Cook with caution!

Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: Red wine

eggplant-parm-prepIngredients:
1. Salt to taste
2. ½ tablespoon of oregano
3. 3 tablespoons of olive oil
4. 1 28-ounce can of tomatoes
5. 1 large handful of shredded/chopped mozzarella
6. 2 eggs
7. 1 large eggplant cut into 1-inch thick rounds
8. 1 onion chopped coarsely
9. 1 handful of chopped parsley
10. 3 garlic cloves chopped coarsely
11. ½ cup of flour
12. ¼ cup of shredded Parmesan
13. ½ cup of breadcrumbs

Step 1
Create the sauce by heating up 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a pan on medium-high heat.  Sauté the garlic until they whiten (approx 30 seconds).  Sauté the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes).  Add salt to taste and parsley and cook in the flavor (approx 1 minute).  Add the tomatoes and crush them yourself.  Turn the heat down low and allow the sauce to simmer as you move on to Step 2.
eggplant-parm-sauce
Step 2
Create the eggplant batter.  First mix up the breading: flour, breadcrumbs, Parmesan and oregano in one bowl.  Beat the eggs in a second bowl.  Heat up 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a pan on medium-high heat.  Dip each eggplant round in the eggs, and then the breading and fry them 4 or five at a time.  Flip once after the bottoms brown (approx 2 minutes) and repeat.  Set aside on a paper towel to soak up excess oil.  Repeat as needed.
eggplant-parm-batter-fry
Step 3
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Lay down a base of sauce in a small baking/casserole dish. Put down a layer of fried eggplants.  Place another layer of sauce and eggplants until you have exhausted your supply, laying the last of the sauce on top.  Scatter the mozzarella buckshot style over the top and throw in the oven.  Bake until the cheese crusts and browns (approx 20 minutes).  You are in for a treat!  Serve it up solo or with some PASTA.
eggplant-parm-bake

AddThis Social Bookmark Button


GOT IT GOIN’ ON, CHICKEN PARMESAN

November 7, 2008

Parmigiana wanna banga

Parmigiana wanna banga

Sometimes a remake of an old classic is exactly what a franchise needs.  Like Oceans Eleven, the chicken parmesan model is in dire need of a makeover.  You don’t want your date passing out head first into tired deep-fried cheesy malaise.  It’s time to tell your new squeeze to get ready for the next generation of comfort food.  You get all the same flavors, but half the fat and a hundred times the sex appeal. This recipe was born out of a blunder cooking dinner for my new college girlfriend.  I overcooked the eggplant wedges and had to scramble to salvage my game. Cooking the burnt eggplant with tomato sauce, broccoli, grilled chicken breasts and cheese turned the night from “Oh shit!” to “Oh my God!”  The recipe has since become a permanent fixture in my arsenal and not a single complaint yet.

casa-doro-prep Ingredients:
1. 2 skinless chicken breasts
2. ½ lb of broccoli chopped into bite-size pieces
3. 1-2 eggs beaten.
4. 1/2 inch thick round slices of eggplant
5. Enough breadcrumbs to coat each side of the eggplant
6. Olive oil
7. 1 cup of vodka or marinara sauce
8. 3 handful of mozzarella

Step 1
Crack and beat the eggs in a bowl wide and deep enough to dip the eggplant rounds.  Once both sides of the round are covered in egg, cover it in a second bowl with breadcrumbs.  Finally throw the rounds in a nonstick pan with little to no oil on med-high heat.  Cook until both sides are golden brown and set aside.
casa-doro-eggplant1
Step 2
Cook the chicken breasts and broccoli together in a pan on medium heat.  Cook the chicken all the way through and the broccoli is soft.  Pour in the sauce and any spices you are partial to.  Might I suggest some oregano and chili flakes for a spicy kick of lust?
casa-doro-chix-broc-sauce
Step 3
Once the sauce has fully cooked through the broccoli and chicken and has congealed, crown the chicken breast with a breaded eggplant round.  Throw a handful of mozzarella on each chicken/eggplant stack.  Turn off the heat, cover the pan with a lid and cheese do its thing.  Pull the lid and serve solo, with a side of pasta, or on top of your naked body.
casa-doro-finishing-off