SHAKE YOUR FRIT-TATAS!

October 23, 2008
Shake it, baby! Shake some salt on those eggs.

Shake it, baby! Shake some salt on those eggs.

Congratulations!  If you are making this dish, your date slept over.  This dish takes a while so they better be worth it or you’re better off toasting some Eggos and stuffing them in a cab.  But if this is the ONE, or just an incredible lay you want to keep around, try this dish on for size.  It also works great for brunch with friends or family too.  Note that not all these ingredients are necessary and you can throw your own favorites in there, but you need the tortilla and eggs.

Ingredients:
1. 4 eggs beaten
2. 2 medium or one burrito sized tortilla
3. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
4. 1 sausage (chicken or pork) cut into thin bite sized pieces
5. 1 handful of spinach
6. ½ a tomato chopped coarsely
7. 1 handful of shredded
Mozzarella or cheddar

Step 1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease a small casserole dish with butter or olive oil.  Stuff the tortilla into the casserole dish so that it lines it.  Break up the tortilla if necessary.

Step 2
Add the spinach, sausage, tomato and green onions over the tortilla lined casserole dish.  Pour in the eggs, which should fall towards the bottom and submerge all the ingredients. Throw the shredded mozzarella on top.

Step 3
Bake the frittata for 35-45 minutes until it rises and the cheese on top should be browned like a crust.  Remove the dish from the oven and allow it to cool.  Finally cut it into squares and spatula up an appropriate sized chunk.  Serve with salsa, hot sauce or other flavors to sex it up.

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ROASTED CHICKEN RUB DOWN

October 23, 2008
Roasted Chicken Rub Down Served

Roasted Chicken Rub Down Served

Roasting a chicken is a lot like a slow, deliberate seduction: if you rush it you end up with cold meat and ecoli.  But done right it should get you laid plus provide you with some kick ass leftovers for sandwiches, salads or right off the bone, in the fridge, drunk.  This dish is hearty, proves you made the effort, and did I mention delicious?  It’s mostly prep work, then you can slide in the oven, bump the Barry White and boom-chicka-wa-wa!

Roasted Chicken Rub Down prep

Roasted Chicken Rub Down prep

Ingredients:

1. 1 Whole chicken hollow and defrosted
2. 1 whole onion chopped
3. 2 tablespoons of achiote seasoning
4. 1 handful of plucked rosemary
5. 2 garlic cloves sliced thinly
6. 8 small potatoes, sliced into bite sized pieces
7. 2 tablespoons of olive oil

Chicken, rubbed and stuffed.

Chicken, rubbed and stuffed.

Step 1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Stuff the chicken with the chopped onion and rub the achiote into the chicken skin, leaving a few clumps on top.

drizzle and dazzle

drizzle and dazzle

Step 2
Place the potatoes all around the chicken in the baking pan.  Place the garlic slices and rosemary evenly over the chicken and potatoes.  Drizzle the chicken with olive oil.

Chicken good to go

Chicken good to go

Step 3
Throw the chicken in the oven and roast for 1-1½ hours, occasionally flipping the potatoes so they smother in the juices on the pan’s bottom.  To make sure the bird is ready to please and not cause disease, slice into the leg or breast and make sure it’s cooked all the way through (as in not pink, dumb ass).

Step 4
Carve off sections of the bird whether they be thigh and leg (if you’re an ass man) or breast and wing (you get the point).  Serve up with the potatoes and some of the onions roasted inside the bird.  If your date doesn’t appreciate this, kick their ass out…stat!

Variations:
•    Squeeze a lemon over the chicken half way through roast for more tang
•    Add maple syrup for a sweeter taste
•    Stuff breadcrumbs into the chicken if you’re a carb lover

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MACKA-DADDY-A CRUSTED AHI PONZU ISRAELI COUSCOUS

October 23, 2008

This is a dish for the someone you really want to WOW into banging you.  I hope he or she’s worth it because sushi grade ahi isn’t cheap, but is delicious, healthy and gives you extra UMPH where it counts.  This is already a deal breaker meal.  Add a little mango salsa on the side and you would get laid even if you were a retarded midget with cat AIDS.

Ingredients:
1. 2 ½lb sushi grade ahi tuna steaks marinated in soy sauce, lime juice and chopped cilantro
2. 2 handfuls of pulverized raw macadamia nuts
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. 1/4 cup of ponzu sauce
5. 1 cup of Israeli couscous

Step 1
Prepare Israeli couscous as directed on box: brown the couscous in olive oil then add boiling water (measurement 1 part couscous to 1 1/3 part water).  Substitute so it’s 1 cup water & 1/3 cup ponzu sauce.  Bring to boil and then simmer for about 12 minutes until liquid evaporates.

Step 2

Use the moisture from the ahi’s marinade to help form a thin, even macadamia nut crust over the steaks.

Step 3
Sear the ahi steaks in a pan or over a grill for a 1-1½ minutes on each side so the macadamia crust has browned along with edges of the fish, but it’s still a glorious red in the middle.

Step 4

Cut thin strips from the macadamia crusted ahi steaksand serves artfully over the ponzu Israeli couscous.

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Posted by cooktobang

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