CAMBODIAN LOVE ROLLS

February 19, 2016
Love it, Cambodian style.

Love it, Cambodian style.

This is a variation on a recipe learned in Cambodia near the ancient Angkor Wat ruins.  Be sure to emphasize just how special this recipe is because it is infused with the spirits of an enchanted, dead civilization.  Mighty impressive of you to make a dish so delicious, healthy and worldly.  Now it’s time for your world to be rocked!

Ingredients:
1. 1/2 lb of minced chicken
2. 3 minced garlic cloves
3. ½ an onion peeled and chopped
4. 1 large carrot peeled and chopped
5. 1 handful of shredded coconut
6. 2 handfuls of chopped basil leaves
7. 2 teaspoons of fish sauce
8. 3 tablespoons of peanut oil
9. 1 teaspoon of oyster sauce
10. 1 package of round rice paper sheets
11. ½ a cup of sweet chili sauce
12. 2 teaspoons of soy sauce

Step 1
Pour the oil into a pan and cook the chopped garlic for 10 seconds and then add the minced chicken.  Cook until chicken browns.

Step 2

Add the chopped onions and carrots, shredded coconut, fish sauce, oyster sauce and soy sauce. Cook until veggies are limp, unlike you.

Step 3
Place the spring roll filling in a separate bowl and allow to cool (the refrigerator is a good place for this).  Prep a pan of heated water (tea temperature) on the stove and keep on a low simmer.

Step 4
Now comes the fun of rolling, especially for you stoners out there.  Dip the dried rice paper into the pan of heated water.  Place moist paper onto flat surface.  Add a spoonful of the filling and a small dash of the chopped basil leaves.  Roll up tightly and serve.
Variations:
•    Substitute minced pork for the chicken


GUAPO GRINGO GUACAMOLE

August 21, 2015

Hola, mi amigo!  Nothing says, “Girl (or boy), you’re worth the extra $2 an avocado,” like guacamole.  Sometimes salsa just isn’t enough.  Serve these with tortilla chips or with some magical Mexican feast.  Ole! Read the rest of this entry »


ROASTED CHICKEN RUB DOWN

October 23, 2008
Roasted Chicken Rub Down Served

Roasted Chicken Rub Down Served

Roasting a chicken is a lot like a slow, deliberate seduction: if you rush it you end up with cold meat and ecoli.  But done right it should get you laid plus provide you with some kick ass leftovers for sandwiches, salads or right off the bone, in the fridge, drunk.  This dish is hearty, proves you made the effort, and did I mention delicious?  It’s mostly prep work, then you can slide in the oven, bump the Barry White and boom-chicka-wa-wa!

Roasted Chicken Rub Down prep

Roasted Chicken Rub Down prep

Ingredients:

1. 1 Whole chicken hollow and defrosted
2. 1 whole onion chopped
3. 2 tablespoons of achiote seasoning
4. 1 handful of plucked rosemary
5. 2 garlic cloves sliced thinly
6. 8 small potatoes, sliced into bite sized pieces
7. 2 tablespoons of olive oil

Chicken, rubbed and stuffed.

Chicken, rubbed and stuffed.

Step 1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Stuff the chicken with the chopped onion and rub the achiote into the chicken skin, leaving a few clumps on top.

drizzle and dazzle

drizzle and dazzle

Step 2
Place the potatoes all around the chicken in the baking pan.  Place the garlic slices and rosemary evenly over the chicken and potatoes.  Drizzle the chicken with olive oil.

Chicken good to go

Chicken good to go

Step 3
Throw the chicken in the oven and roast for 1-1½ hours, occasionally flipping the potatoes so they smother in the juices on the pan’s bottom.  To make sure the bird is ready to please and not cause disease, slice into the leg or breast and make sure it’s cooked all the way through (as in not pink, dumb ass).

Step 4
Carve off sections of the bird whether they be thigh and leg (if you’re an ass man) or breast and wing (you get the point).  Serve up with the potatoes and some of the onions roasted inside the bird.  If your date doesn’t appreciate this, kick their ass out…stat!

Variations:
•    Squeeze a lemon over the chicken half way through roast for more tang
•    Add maple syrup for a sweeter taste
•    Stuff breadcrumbs into the chicken if you’re a carb lover