PICNIC TO BANG

June 8, 2012
Be sure no bear steals your picnic basket while you're banging in the woods.

Be sure no bear steals your picnic basket while you’re banging in the woods.

Food on the go doesn’t always mean artery-shattering fast food in greasy paper bags. Call it a picnic and suddenly you’re the classiest bastard alive.  Cooking at home certainly makes post-meal banging a foregone conclusion, but sometimes you need to mix it up.  Taking your homemade treats elsewhere can be an adventure that allows your date to get comfortable with you.  The clear advantage to a picnic date is not blowing your paycheck at a restaurant.  Plus it’s romantic in spite of it being a tad cliché.  My retort to that is women always flock to recycled cliché romantic comedies ad nausea.  Many a picnic date have yielded me randy rewards. One went so well that I was cited in a park for public indecency when my date and I were caught in the backseat of her Prius, which was surprisingly roomy. Apparently all the parents of impressionable youngsters didn’t appreciate our tomfoolery. Read the rest of this entry »


GOLDEN METEOR SHOWER

November 16, 2009
13521092

The sky is falling...so is your underwear!

For the uninitiated, tonight or more accurately, early tomorrow morning, November 17, 2009 the Leonid Meteor Shower will be on full display.  Viewing times will vary depending on your location, but it will be past your bedtime (approx 11pm-4am). Specific info can be found here:

http://www.space.com/spacewatch/091113-2009-leonid-meteor-shower.html

A better date activity there could not be. Rest assured, you know I will be banging under an exploding sky!  So if you have a special someone you want to share a quiet, albeit cold (for my Northern Hemisphere readers) night, prepare yourself.  A late night picnic under a kaleidoscope sky is sure to get you laid.  Who said romance is dead?  Below are suggestions on how to maximize a date of cosmic proportions:

It’s going to be cold.  You don’t want to get frostbite on your naughty bits. BRING:

Heavy blankets
Sleeping bag
Air Mattress
Pillows
Flashlight
Warm coat
Hat
Scarf
Music
Condoms
Intergalactic Lube

You want something to nibble and something warm and possibly boozy to sip on.  Here are suggestions from the CTB canon to SERVE:

SMOKING HOT PEPPERMINT FATTY

CHICKEN WING FLING

WRAP YOUR PROSCIUTTO AROUND MY FIG

BUST-A-NUT SQUASH SOUP

PIMPIN’ PUMPKIN SOUP

PINCH YOUR ASS-BERRY BROWNIES

LECHEROUS LEMON BARS

Enjoy the show courtesy of the Universe. Happy banging!

lodge_3

Honey, let's get busy while Orion watches!

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