Riding dirty is the Southern way. At least that is what I learned on my most recent visit to New Orleans. I befriended a Southern belle boozing it up with absinthe at a vampire bar down a dark alley. She did not believe that I was a master of disaster in the kitchen. So I took her challenge on the spot to go back to her place and fix up a meal with only what I found in their kitchen. This cutie with an even cuter accent was unprepared for the awesome assault I unleashed in her mouths and loins. I managed to make NEVER FLAKES CRAB CAKES (minus the mango), a simple salad and a SLOB ON MY KNOBBLER COBBLER with pears. My payment for all my efforts was a cocktail that I present to you. She called it a Pink Lady since she is after all genteel and demure. But the demure soon fizzled away by our fourth round. That’s when she showed me true hospitality in her boudoir. It was only after, while I sipped a lukewarm pink lady as she slumbered next to me that I understood the saying: “Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez.” Read the rest of this entry »
HOT DATE SHAKE
December 16, 2009After your hot date gets hotter and steamier, cool off with a refreshing date shake. There is nothing like the taste of ancient lands to flavor the already classic crowd-pleasing milkshake. The Mesoptamian and Egyptian culinary culture grew from dates, which flavored just about every meal. Considering the plethora of kinky among the originators of civilization, it’s a safe bet that using dates will help you evoke ancient sex gods. Just imagine the power of Ra pulsing through your body as you indulge in all manner of ethereal pleasures. Sip on that shake of yours, and get back to work!
Total time: approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Eating Buddy: HOT DUMB BLONDIES
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 cups milk
2. 3 scoop vanilla ice cream
3. 2 tbsp HONEY
4. 1 handful of dates
Step 1
Removed the pits from the dates and then thoroughly puree them with vanilla ice cream, honey, and milk until your ready to shake that booty. Garnish with an extra date on each glass if you want to look extra cool.
GOLDEN METEOR SHOWER
November 16, 2009For the uninitiated, tonight or more accurately, early tomorrow morning, November 17, 2009 the Leonid Meteor Shower will be on full display. Viewing times will vary depending on your location, but it will be past your bedtime (approx 11pm-4am). Specific info can be found here:
http://www.space.com/spacewatch/091113-2009-leonid-meteor-shower.html
A better date activity there could not be. Rest assured, you know I will be banging under an exploding sky! So if you have a special someone you want to share a quiet, albeit cold (for my Northern Hemisphere readers) night, prepare yourself. A late night picnic under a kaleidoscope sky is sure to get you laid. Who said romance is dead? Below are suggestions on how to maximize a date of cosmic proportions:
It’s going to be cold. You don’t want to get frostbite on your naughty bits. BRING:
Heavy blankets
Sleeping bag
Air Mattress
Pillows
Flashlight
Warm coat
Hat
Scarf
Music
Condoms
Intergalactic Lube
You want something to nibble and something warm and possibly boozy to sip on. Here are suggestions from the CTB canon to SERVE:
WRAP YOUR PROSCIUTTO AROUND MY FIG
Enjoy the show courtesy of the Universe. Happy banging!