IT’S ON LIKE SZECHUAN EGGPLANT

October 22, 2014
Forgive the food slur and start to purr

Forgive the food slur and start to purr

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  This is not a test of the emergency broadcast center.  There will definitely be something wrong with your TV once I unleash the fury.  The Chinese have responded to a white man’s attempt at a classic dish.  UN resolutions were passed, harsh censures and condemnations issued, apologies accepted that rebuked.  Who would have thought me taking a little creative license in the kitchen to try to impress a cute Chinese citizen would cause such international crisis?  Granted, homegirl wasn’t impressed for authentic it was not.  But tasty it was.  Perhaps I can explain that to the lynch mob surrounding my house with pitchforks.  Newsflash, douche bags: my head on a platter won’t smooth things over.  Only the diplomacy in my pants will do.  Now fly me to Beijing! Read the rest of this entry »