Girdles are the absolute worst! I find clothing abhorrent. If nudist colonies weren’t of the fugly side of life, I might join them. So I settle with having a no-clothes policy in my house. My friends thinks it’s a little weird, but my late night companions don’t seem to spend an evening playing Nintendo Wii tennis naked. You ain’t seen nothing until you spy with your little eye naughty bits flying around hitting a video backhand. But clothes are a mandated part of polite society so I settle for accessorizing. One accessory I cannot abide by is the girdle. Do we really need more obstacles to get through? At least the bra and panty line of defense is a pleasure to view at while sneaking behind enemy lines. Luckily this salad is healthy and with repeat meals could reduce the reason for the same fuglies at the nudist colony to ever wear a girdle when they begrudgingly go to work dressed. Chock the flavor and cool red staining effect from the beets foreplay.
Total time: approximately 1 hour
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: SLUTTY TEMPLE, red and slutty is the theme
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 4 tbsp Greek yogurt
2. 1 dash salt
3. 3 2 large BEETS with stocks and leaves
4. Lemon juice to taste
First chop away the stocks from the beets. Wash the stocks/leaves thoroughly. Chop away and seperate the stocks from the leaves, cutting them both smaller.
Submerge the beets and stocks in boiling water and cook until you can easily penetrate the beets with a fork (approx 30 min). Drain the water and throw the beets and stock in ice water. Remove the boiled stocks and add them to the chopped beet leaves. Once the beets are cool, you can easily remove the skin before you slice them into thin rounds.
Assemble your salad by laying a foundation of leaves/stocks, artfully place the beet rounds above, and smother the money shot of yogurt on top of each plate’s face. Squeeze a little lemon juice for some extra tang.
Serve this salad after a weekend of sexcess.