Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Double trouble looking for a piece of that bubble!

You know the deal.  Society tells us to behave, to color within the lines, to speak when spoken to.  That’s all well and good if you’re a eunuch.  But what about those of us with a spine flowing with spunk?  We’re not just going to lie down and endure our master’s cruel, but fair beatings for stepping out of line.  No bloody way!  We are our own masters and being as such, we color way outside the lines and even off the page.  That’s why we Cook to Bang and not Cook to Cuddle.  So whose to say a tofu stir-fry has to marinate in apologetic afterthought?  Why not be bold with that palette so it grabs your date’s collar and shake them, screaming, “I’m an interesting person!”  Glad you see it my way.  Now stir up some trouble with that healthy meal of yours.

Total time: approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Kombucha or some dank, heady beer, bra

Ingredients (for two):
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 1 tbsp peanut butter
3. 1 tbsp soy sauce
4. 1 tsp Sriracha Hot CHILI Sauce
5. ½ onion chopped coarsely
6. 1 handful parsley chopped coarsely
7. 1 tofu block
8. ½ lime quartered
9. 2 garlic cloves sliced thinly

Step 1
Cut the tofu block into bite-sized pieces.  Toss with soy sauce, Sriracha and limejuice and marinate (approx 15 min).

Step 2
Sauté the garlic and onions in olive oil until they become translucent (approx 3 min).  Add the peanut butter and stir until in melts into the onion.  Throw in the tofu with the marinade and sauté along with the parsley until the tofu softens (approx 5 min).

Squeeze limejuice over it and serve solo or with some RICE.