March 18, 2010
Why choke your chicken when you can artichoke and poke?
Sometimes a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a bag of stale Cheetos just don’t do the job when it comes to seduction. My apologies to the corner store Casanovas. Sometimes a little elbow grease can oil the joints keeping your date’s legs stuck together. And what better way to do that then a familiar bar food favorite that happens to be loaded with APHRODISIAC power? In case the artichoke wasn’t enough sex appeal, we threw in the silky avocado to guide deliver you a foolproof contingency plan. You’re welcome. This became a last minute creation needed for an impromptu Super Bowl date with a pack of three football-loving ladies. These girls clearly knew their shit when it came to pig skin and potato skins. Making a good impression was crucial for the touchdown that followed with my girl there. There was most certainly necessary roughness. The extra point was the phone number her sexy friend wearing the Steelers jersey slipped me.
Total time: approximately 35 minutes
Projected cost: $11
Drinking Buddy: A MO MOJO MOJITO or RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE
Ingredients (serves a party or 2 hungry people for days):
1. 2 tablespoons of mayonnaise
2. 1 8-ounce can of artichoke hearts in water
3. 1 round roll of foccacia bread
4. 4 ounces of cream cheese
5. 2 ROASTED RED PEPPERS
6.½ an avocado sliced
7. ½ a lemon worth of juice
8. ½ cup of parmesan cheese
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Chop up the artichoke hearts and roasted red peppers and toss them into a bowl with the avocado, parmesan cheese, lemon juice, cream cheese and mayonnaise. Work out your pent up sexual frustration by mashing up the ingredients.
Step 2
Cut the top of the focaccia roll and set aside. Pull out the center breading, leaving the sides and bottom in tact. If need be, use your right and left hooks and pound the sides in. Crown the bread top with some parmesan cheese, toast it brown, then cut it up in slices to serve with the dip.
Step 3
Pour in the mashed up raw dip into an oven safe bowl and heat through (approx 20 minutes). Remove the heated dip from the oven and dump in evenly into the bread bowl you have created. Crown it with some parmesan cheese and throw it back in the oven and heat up the bread and melt cheese on top (approx 10 minutes). Serve it up with those toasted slices and tortilla chips. Super job! I knew you had it in you.
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RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, aphrodisiac artichoke dip, appetizer, artichoke, artichoke bread bowl recipe, Artichoke dip recipe, avocado, bang, bar food, cream cheese, delicious, dip, easy, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, focaccia bread, game changer, game day, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, mayonnaise, naked, parmesan cheese, recipe, roasted red peppers, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, sexy, sports bar, spread, tasty, vegetarian, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
October 30, 2008
Four slices of fig-tastic cheesy goodness.
Just when your toaster oven thought it was safe from your simple seduction sundries, here comes a kinky quesadilla. Buying the ingredients should be the toughest part. Figs can be pricey, but are technically aphrodisiacs of Biblical significance. But isn’t a night of unspeakable acts worth the effort? These quesadillas also make great appetizers to pre-assemble and take to backyard barbecues, Superbowl parties, or swingers orgies.
Ingredients:
1. 1 medium sized tortilla
2. 4 thin slices of brie
3. 1 tablespoon of fig jam (or sliced figs)
4. 1 handful of crushed candied walnuts
Step 1
Spread the fig jam evenly over half the tortilla, place brie and candied walnuts on the other half, and close together.
Step 2
Place it in toaster oven and cook for dark toast mode or grill in a pan until each side is browned. Cut into four pieces and serve plain, with sliced avocado or with mango salsa.
Leave a Comment » | FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES | Tagged: appetizer, brie, cheese, figs, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, quesadilla, SEDUCTION, toaster, tortilla, walnuts | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
October 24, 2008
Simple enough so you can figure out how to get that damn bra off.
If only seduction was as simple as making salsa. But simplicity is the root of innovation so go with it. Salsa with chips can be a nice light meal or compliments countless dishes. Over fish, tacos, eggs, you name it. Be sure to tell your date you made it from only the finest ingredients, even if you bought them off a truck.
Ingredients:
1. 2 tomatoes roughly chopped
2. 1 green onion roughly chopped
3. 1 handful of cilantro roughly chopped, stems removed
4. 1 jalapeño, deveined and deseeded, and roughly chopped
5. ½ a lime
6. Salt to taste
Step 1
Throw the chunks of tomato, green onion, cilantro and jalapeno into a bowl, squeeze the lime and throw in salt to taste.
Step 2
Mix like an 80’s hip-hop DJ until the salsa break-dances on your date’s tongue via a tortilla chip or your finest taco sampler.
1 Comment | FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES | Tagged: appetizer, cilantro, condiment, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, jalepeno, lime, mexican, onions, salsa, spicy, tacos, tomato, tortilla chips | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Ingredients (serves a party or 2 hungry people for days):
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 
