LECHEROUS LEPRECHAUN

March 17, 2016
Get lucky like an Irishman in pub full of drunken tarts.

Get lucky like an Irishman in pub full of drunken tarts.

I felt sorry for Lucky the Leprechaun because those shithead kids wouldn’t share any Lucky Charms.  How hard would it have been to hook the little guy up with a small bowl of that artificial flavored filth?  Leave it up to us Americans to exploit and bastardize yet another cultural icon.  You can hardly blame the half-pint of Guinness for turning to the sauce.  At least we now have a symbol to blame all our mid-March misgivings on.  We’ll give props to some forgotten Catholic Saint of Ireland, eat some processed potato product and indulge in whiskey and beer.  Green is THE color and a perfect excuse to pinch the hot ass of that lass or lad not following the day’s chosen color palette.  Green our drinks shall be whether you choose to pour food dye into your Guinness or try on this COOK TO BANG exclusive.  It is sure to bring out the Lecherous Leprechaun in all of us.  So how about it, you lovely lasses?  Wanna set free the leprechaun in my pants?   There’s a pot of gold at the base of my half rainbow.

lecherous-leprechaun-prep1Total time: approximately 3 minutes
Projected cost: approximately $15 (depending on price of the booze)
Eating Buddy: HO’S MAY BLOW-TATOES

Ingredients (per drink):
1. 1 shot of Sour Apple Pucker
2. 1 shot of vodka
3. Club soda
4. ¼ lime cut up and squeezed
5. 1 large handful of ice

Step 1
Squeeze ¼ of a lime into the glass, dropping the remains into the glass after.  Throw in a large handful of ice, and then pour in 1 shot of vodka and 1 shot of Sour Apple Pucker.  Top each glass off with club soda and mix it all together.  Drink up before that leprechaun finishes your bevy for you.
lecherous-leprechaun-mix

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HO’S MAY BLOW-TATOES

March 10, 2009
“Kiss Me, I’m Irish!” said the drunk leprechaun gnawing on a potato.

“Kiss Me, I’m Irish!” said the drunk leprechaun gnawing on a potato.

You have to love the simplicity of the Irish.  The simple potato prepared in so many different ways kept a civilization alive, healthy and able to withstand the Roman Empire.  Not bad at all.  The potato has gotten the Irish through the worst famines, droughts, pestilence and snake invasions.  Much props to Saint Patrick for telling those slithery suckers to piss off.  So next time you indulge in a potato feast, think about the history of the carbohydrates you are eating.  When you’re done with that, pounce on your date and blame your crazy Irish roots, even if you don’t have them.

Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $3
Drinking Buddy: Depends on what you serve this with. If you are eating them solo, celebrate the Irish with a Guinness or whiskey

jane-potatoes-prepIngredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
2. 6 red potatoes
3. 1 tablespoon of coarse sea salt
4. 1 small handful of fresh rosemary
5. Pepper to taste (not pictured)

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Wash off each potato, then cut them into mouthful pieces.
jane-potatoes-wash-cut
Step 2
Lay tinfoil over a baking pan.  Lay down the olive oil.  Toss in the potatoes and crown it all with salt, rosemary and pepper (if you so desire).  Toss the potatoes with your hands, ensuring the potatoes are well coated.  Throw the pan into the oven and cook until the potatoes brown (approx 25 minutes).
jane-potatoes-toss-roast
Allow these potatoes to compliment your favorite ENTRÉE and date.

jane-potatoes-served

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