March 17, 2016
Get lucky like an Irishman in pub full of drunken tarts.
I felt sorry for Lucky the Leprechaun because those shithead kids wouldn’t share any Lucky Charms. How hard would it have been to hook the little guy up with a small bowl of that artificial flavored filth? Leave it up to us Americans to exploit and bastardize yet another cultural icon. You can hardly blame the half-pint of Guinness for turning to the sauce. At least we now have a symbol to blame all our mid-March misgivings on. We’ll give props to some forgotten Catholic Saint of Ireland, eat some processed potato product and indulge in whiskey and beer. Green is THE color and a perfect excuse to pinch the hot ass of that lass or lad not following the day’s chosen color palette. Green our drinks shall be whether you choose to pour food dye into your Guinness or try on this COOK TO BANG exclusive. It is sure to bring out the Lecherous Leprechaun in all of us. So how about it, you lovely lasses? Wanna set free the leprechaun in my pants? There’s a pot of gold at the base of my half rainbow.
Total time: approximately 3 minutes
Projected cost: approximately $15 (depending on price of the booze)
Eating Buddy: HO’S MAY BLOW-TATOES
Ingredients (per drink):
1. 1 shot of Sour Apple Pucker
2. 1 shot of vodka
3. Club soda
4. ¼ lime cut up and squeezed
5. 1 large handful of ice
Step 1
Squeeze ¼ of a lime into the glass, dropping the remains into the glass after. Throw in a large handful of ice, and then pour in 1 shot of vodka and 1 shot of Sour Apple Pucker. Top each glass off with club soda and mix it all together. Drink up before that leprechaun finishes your bevy for you.
2 Comments | 
irish, libation lubrication, RECIPES | Tagged: alcohol, alcoholic beverage, bang, booze, catholic, club soda, delicious, DIY, drink, drunk, easy, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green, guarantee, Guinness, homemade, ice, intercourse, Ireland, irish, kitchen, Lecherous leprechaun drink recipe, leprechaun, libation lubrication, lime, liqueur, lucky charms, march, naked, pot of gold, potato, rainbow, recipe, seduce, sex, sour apple pucker, St. Patrick’s day, tasty, verde, vodka, wet, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
August 28, 2015
Mo Mojo Mojitos gets you mo and mo and mo and...
Viva la Revolucion! I’m not talking about Fidel Castro’s cigar chomping communist regime. I’m talking about the cocktail revolution led by the magical mojito. This cocktail is straight liquid sex appeal. The tart of the lime gets your feet moving; the sweet sugar fuels your moves; the frosty mint refreshes you’re overheating arse; the rum makes you holler at the moon. It takes me back to wild nights in Miami drinking way too many mojitos and going home with somebody shaking their hips hypnotically to a meringue beat. Much love goes out to those people in Havana who created such a perfect drink. I long for my own Guantanamera babe to help me get through this cruel winter. Cuba here I come! But in the mean time I can serve these up for the senoritas in my life. Mojitos never fail to arm me with a little mo mojo. The extra effort pays off in dividends when it compliments a spicy ENTRÉE. That’s what I call caliente! Read the rest of this entry »
4 Comments | Cuban, libation lubrication, RECIPES | Tagged: alcoholic beverage, aphrodisiac, bang, Buena vista social club, club soda, crunk, Cuban, delicious, drink, drunk, easy, Fidel Castro, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, Havana, intercourse, kitchen, Latino, libation lubrication, lime, Miami, mint, Mo mojo mojito recipe, mojito recipe, muddle, naked, party time, recipe, romance, romantic, rum, SEDUCTION, sex, sugar, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 29, 2015
Let your date guess what they’re tasting. They will be surprised and aroused.
Shandy, you dandy randy non-brandy. This is a classic British drink that runs the gamut of concoctions from the mundane: beer mixed with 7-Up to the insane: beer mixed lighter fluid and sharks blood. Let’s just call this one a compromise that is Forest Gump stupid easy to make. The garnishes make all the difference. The mint, lime and lemons are like the tuxedo that covers up a pair of tighty whiteys. Shandy’s are refreshingly intoxicating and are perfect to cool your hot steamy ass off. After all, Shandy’s were the drink of choice for the British imperialists occupying nation a whole muggier than their cooler limey homes. So make like an imperialist swine and occupy some territory in your date’s pantalones. Read the rest of this entry »
3 Comments | british, libation lubrication, RECIPES | Tagged: alcohol, alcoholic beverage, bang, banging, booze, british, british empire, colonies, delicious, DIY, drink, easy, food, forest gump, frozen lemonade concentrate, game changer, garnishes, get laid, gourmet, gourmet shandy recipe, guarantee, homemade, imperialist, inexpensive beer, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, lemonade beer cocktail recipe, lemonane shandy, libido, lime, mint leaves, naked, occupy territory, pantalones, panty dropping shandy recipe, recipe, refreshing, seduce, sex, shandy recipe, suds, summer, tasty, tighty whiteys, tuxedo, UK, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Total time: approximately 3 minutes
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 