Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Vampire proof holiday comfort food

Garlic can kill your game and the plants in your living room if you aren’t careful.  Sure the vampires might stay away, but so might your sexy time play pal.  But use the right amount and your palette and date will thank you.  Garlic can take boring old mash potatoes to a higher plane full of robust flavor and passion.  You can cut the garlic bit using buttermilk that will leave your taters velvety and sparkly.  This savory side dish can certainly save a main course that resides in Bland City.  What better way to impress your new lover’s family during Thanksgiving?  You will forever be remembered as that derelict whose only redeeming quality was that killer side dish that outshined their turkey.  You might even get invited back next year, with or without their son or daughter.  Garlic is also incredibly good for your immune system, which you will need in tiptop condition considering all the banging to be done this holiday season.  Should you overdo the garlic, realize you and your date are both stinky, and can make sweet stinky love, relieved to know no vampire will interrupt your tryst.  Happy Holidays!

Ingredients:
1. 1 tablespoon salt
2. 1 cup of buttermilk
3. 4 cloves of garlic chopped
4. 1 onion chopped coarsely
5. ¼ stick of butter
6. 7 small red potatoes quartered

Step 1
On medium heat, sauté the garlic, onions and salt in butter until they are soft.

Step 2
Boil a covered pot of water on high heat until it boils.  Throw in the potatoes, return it all to a boil, cover and cook for about 15-20 minutes.  Use a fork to test if they are cooked through; if the fork easily pierces the potato you are golden.  Drain the potatoes in a colander.

Step 3
Combine the sautéed onions and the boiled potatoes.  Pour in the buttermilk and blend with a fork, eggbeater or hand blender.  Serve up the potatoes as a badass side for Thanksgiving, with pork chops or use as a tasty lubricant.