REVERSE COWGIRL EGGS

March 7, 2016
Ride these eggs Reverse Cowgirl style, YIPPY KI YI YAY!

Ride these eggs Reverse Cowgirl style, YIPPY KI YI YAY!

Howdy, pardners!  You look hungry after wrestling all morning with them coyote uglies.  I reckon you could do with a little breakfast before you herd them little doggies into that there pen.  Pull yerself up round that campfire, eat my sexy version of cowboy eggs and I’ll tell some tall tales about them crazy cowgirls in Dodge City.  These girls will holler at the moon and love nothing more than to be ridden hard and put away wet.  I reckon y’all know what I mean so you best get on that Pony Express and get yerself a piece before Wild Bill and his men cock-block you.  This here recipe came about when I had my own cowgirl who wanted something quick before dragging me back up to the saloon bedroom for more of the same.  We done did hide out all morning, afternoon and night and that sheriff never got his mangy paws on me.  Thanks to her, I lived to tell this story and feed you my wake-me-up special.  Yee-haw!

Total time: approximately 4 minutes
Projected cost: $2
Drinking Buddy: These are usually morning meal, so OJ or mimosas will do.

cowboy-eggs-prepIngredients (per dish):
1. 2 eggs
2. 2 thick slices of bread (recommend Texas Toast)
3. salt to taste
4. ½ an avocado
5. black pepper to taste
6. 1 teaspoon of butter

Step 1
Use a large bottle cap (like for juice) and put a hole into the middle of each slice of bread.  Melt the butter in a pan on medium heat and then throw in the bread.
cowboy-eggs-bread-hole
Step 2
Crack an egg into the center of each hole.  Sprinkle the desired amount of salt and pepper on each egg (approx 2 minutes).  Once the egg whites start to escape and harden from under the bread, flip them and cook the other side making sue the yolk is still soft in the middle (approx 1-2 minutes).  Serve it up on a plate with the side you cooked first up, its much prettier, and crown with avocado slices.  Serve with bacon or hot sauce if you like.
cowboy-eggs-cook

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LET’S BANG S’MORE

March 3, 2014
Make your date want S'more and more and more

Make your date want S’more and more and more

So you long for the days of your youth sitting around the campfire telling ghost stories and roasting marshmallows over an open flame. The smell of the crackling fire mixed with the subtle sounds of nature. You slept under the stars and imagined what it would be like to finally do some banging. Fast forward to current times. You can’t go camping because it’s winter time, you can’t take the time off of work, and the person you are banging hates the outdoors. No problemo! You can bring back those memories in the comfort of your home with practically no money and little mess. All you need is a toaster. A girl or guy to make it for would also help. It certainly helped last night when I made this lazy-man’s dessert to great effect. My conquest…I mean date was taken back to one of her best childhood memories singing silly songs around the campfire during Girl Scout camping trips. What a perfect opportunity to pounce. I didn’t even have to experience a guilt-trip telling an adorable Girl Scout, “No, I don’t want any of your goddamn over-priced, but crazy addictive cookies. Now get off my property!” Read the rest of this entry »