Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Hard to the Soft-Core!

A naysayer would say all porn is smut.  They wouldn’t distinguish between hardcore and soft-core porn.  The nuances are missed.  Soft and hardcore each have their time and place and both share a clear business plan.  How many big corporations can so clearly define their prime directive?  I am all for a little soft-core with its sweet, half-baked romances that lead to tedious T&A on satin sheets without revealing anything more than the viewer’s frustration.  And hardcore certainly has inspired some adventures unmentionable anywhere but a confession booth (sorry, Father O’Hanrahan). But choosing between soft-core and hardcore eggs, I prefer soft.  The ooey gooey soft-boiled yolk reminds me of simpler times when all I needed was Skinemax to get me through desperate times in high school.  But being an adult does have some perks.  I can choose between soft and sticky or the hard and icky.  Breakfast…it’s all about choices.

Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: A NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI or a SMOOTHEE OPERATOR

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. Salt to taste
2. Pepper to taste
3. ½ an avocado sliced thinly
4. 2 eggs
5. 2 slices of bread
6. Butter for two pieces of toast

Step 1
Bring a pot of water to a roaring boil.  Add the two eggs and boil for 5 minutes, then place them in a bowl of cold water to cool, before placing an egg in a shot glass (or other small container).

Step 2
Toast the two slices of bread, spread butter on them, and then quarter the toast.  Crown each quarter with a slice of avocado and set them on a plate surrounding each egg as if it were a god.

Step 3
Use the side of a spoon to whack around the edges of each egg, and then remove the shell top.  Add a pinch of salt and your desired amount of pepper on each egg and serve immediately.