February 27, 2015
This dessert was NOT approved by the Girl Scouts of America.
Sometimes the way to lure in a hottie is to appeal to their inner fatty. Don’t make a habit out of it or the fatty will take over like the Dark Side took over Darth Vader. But indulging every once in a while, or more than that if you’re like me, is what life is all about. Balance those small doses of decadence with a few hours of calorie-burning screaming orgasms. Burn enough fat and you deserve another round of Thin Mint Fatties. They are delicious, refreshing, and quick to assemble so you’ll be back to the tainted task at hand in no time. Read the rest of this entry »
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dairy, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegetarian | Tagged: balance, bang, banging, butterscotch, calorie-burning, caramel, cookies, darth vader, decadence, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, fattie, food, game changer, get laid, girl scout cookies, gourmet, guarantee, haagen daz, homemade, hottie, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, quick, recipe, refreshing, screaming orgasms, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, star wars, sweets, tasty, thin mint fatties, thin mints, vanilla ice crea, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
December 28, 2009
I'm always down for a little brown or black or yellow or white or whatever hottie comes my way
I’m pretty much down with every color of the rainbow. Call me an equal opportunity banger. If you photographed all my past play pals, you would have a perverse United Colors of Benetton ad. So long as she’s hot and wild, I will go there. My loins are open-minded and willing to give each and every heritage the opportunity to please and get pleased. What can I say? I have taken to heart what Martin Luther King, Jr. “Let them be judged not by the color of their skin, but the content of their character.” The only thing I would add is “the contents of their pantalones.” We’re all the same color when the bedroom lights are out. So with this inspiring call to tolerance in banging and life, I give you this sundae I made for a lady of a Latin heritage. She salsa-danced with her hips on my loins and made me scream “Ay dios mio!”
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: Brandy or cognac
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 scoops vanilla ice cream
2. 2 tbsp butterscotch
3. 1 handful raspberries
4. 2 PINCH YOUR ASS-BERRY BROWNIES
5. 1 small handful chopped walnuts
Step 1
First heat up the butterscotch. Lay a brownie bed, scoop ice cream on top, surround with raspberries, pour over the hot butterscotch, and crown with walnuts and go nuts!
Leave a Comment » | RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegetarian | Tagged: ay dios mio, bang, banging, brownie, brownie sundae recipe, butterscotch, cold, delicious, dessert, DIY, Down with brownie sundae, easy, equal opportunity banger, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, hot, intercourse, kitchen, Latina, libi, martin luther king jr., naked, open-minded, pantalones, pinch your ass, raspberries, recipe, salsa-danced, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sweet, tasty, tolerance, united colors of Benetton, vanilla ice cream, walnuts, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 24, 2009
Blonde jokes just aren't appropriate. S&M is no laughing matter. Right, mistress?
My relationship with desserts is very S&M. To be more accurate, sweets are my dominatrix. I abstain from crack, but have come pretty close to rock bottom. Picture me curled up in a ball on my kitchen floor at 10am on a Tuesday eating cake frosting with a butter knife. It wasn’t pretty. But you should have seen the intervention. We’re talking powder sugar flying by the kilo. And yet my sweet tooth remains a glutton for punishment. Pleasure delaying is part of the torture. I try to be good and eat healthy enough to see next year. But then I allow myself to partake and it’s an embarrassing sight. The mistress of munchies takes over and my humiliation takes center stage. Ladies and gentlemen, behold the sugar-addicted freak that dances for blondies. That blondie demon whore hurts so good.
Total time: approximately 4 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: Champagne and strawberries
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp butterscotch sauce
2. 1 maraschino cherry
3. Whipped cream at your discretion
4. 1-2 scoops vanilla ice cream
5. 1 small handful crushed pecans
6. 1 large HOT DUMB BLONDIE (or equivalent crumbs)
Step 1
Heat up the butterscotch on ultra-low heat in a saucepan. Lay out the blondie like a bed you will soon sin upon. Build an ice cream mountain and pour butterscotch lava down in. Top it off with some whipped cream, deez nutz (pecans) and a popped cherry on top. Hot and cold sex on a platter for two.
1 Comment | RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: bang, banging, blondie, Blondie bondage sundae, blondie sundae recipe, butterscotch, cake frosting, dairy, delicious, demon, dessert, DIY, dominatrix, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, humiliation, ice cream, intercourse, intervention, kilo, kitchen, libido, maraschino cherry, naked, pecans, pleasure delay, powder sugar, recipe, rock bottom, s&m, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, sweets, tasty, vanilla ice cream, Whipped cream, whore, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 