December 11, 2015
Naughty hot chocolate for the hottie in your life.
It’s colder than Ann Coulter’s heart outside. You’re date is no doubt keen to stay warm during these cruel winter months. Luckily you are generous with sharing your body warmth. Tis the season to be giving indeed. This alcoholic hot chocolate recipe should help you mark a few extra notches until spring fever kicks in like rabbits in heat. You get the comfort of a hot chocolate that warms the bones while the cocoa aphrodisiac sets the loins ablaze. The minty alcohol will follow up as a double threat that will lower inhibitions and freshen your breath. The two of you should be rolling around in the snow butt-naked in no time. Read the rest of this entry »
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APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: alcoholic, bang, bittersweet, chocolate, classy, cocoa, delicious, easy, from scratch, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, home made, hot chocolate, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, milk, minty, naked, Peppermint patty, peppermint schnapps, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful, sweet, warm, Whipped cream, winter | 
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Posted by cooktobang
February 25, 2015
This waffle party is like the firework grand finale in your mouth.
Celebrate American Independence from those tax-collecting limeys. Those redcoats just took and took and never bothered to give their colonists a reach around. King George shouldn’t have been surprised when they stopped sucking him off with a smile. Perhaps if the British were more inclined to reciprocate with the oral gratification Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, and the rest of their posse wouldn’t object to being colonial fluffers. But alas, history unfolded and now the yanks are free from British money shots splattering their bespectacled, wig-wearing faces. If not the taxes and tariffs, chances are the Yankees would have rebelled against the piss poor British cuisine. So celebrate Independence Day with a distinctly American dessert. Oh say can you see? Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegetarian | Tagged: America, American, aphrodisiac, bake, baked chocolate strawberry waffle, bang, banging, bespectacled, british, colonial, colony, cuisine, dark chocolate, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, eggo, fluffer, food, fourth of july, franklin, frozen waffles, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, heavy whipping cream, history, homemade, independence day, intercourse, Jefferson, july 4th, king george, kitchen, libido, limeys, money shot, naked, oral gratification, powdered sugar, reach around, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, strawberries, sweet, tariffs, tasty, taxes, vanilla, waffle party usa recipe, Washington, Whipped cream, Yankees, yanks, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 24, 2009
Blonde jokes just aren't appropriate. S&M is no laughing matter. Right, mistress?
My relationship with desserts is very S&M. To be more accurate, sweets are my dominatrix. I abstain from crack, but have come pretty close to rock bottom. Picture me curled up in a ball on my kitchen floor at 10am on a Tuesday eating cake frosting with a butter knife. It wasn’t pretty. But you should have seen the intervention. We’re talking powder sugar flying by the kilo. And yet my sweet tooth remains a glutton for punishment. Pleasure delaying is part of the torture. I try to be good and eat healthy enough to see next year. But then I allow myself to partake and it’s an embarrassing sight. The mistress of munchies takes over and my humiliation takes center stage. Ladies and gentlemen, behold the sugar-addicted freak that dances for blondies. That blondie demon whore hurts so good.
Total time: approximately 4 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: Champagne and strawberries
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp butterscotch sauce
2. 1 maraschino cherry
3. Whipped cream at your discretion
4. 1-2 scoops vanilla ice cream
5. 1 small handful crushed pecans
6. 1 large HOT DUMB BLONDIE (or equivalent crumbs)
Step 1
Heat up the butterscotch on ultra-low heat in a saucepan. Lay out the blondie like a bed you will soon sin upon. Build an ice cream mountain and pour butterscotch lava down in. Top it off with some whipped cream, deez nutz (pecans) and a popped cherry on top. Hot and cold sex on a platter for two.
1 Comment | RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: bang, banging, blondie, Blondie bondage sundae, blondie sundae recipe, butterscotch, cake frosting, dairy, delicious, demon, dessert, DIY, dominatrix, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, humiliation, ice cream, intercourse, intervention, kilo, kitchen, libido, maraschino cherry, naked, pecans, pleasure delay, powder sugar, recipe, rock bottom, s&m, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, sweets, tasty, vanilla ice cream, Whipped cream, whore, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 1, 2008
Spicing up the bedroom is key to successful sexual relations. You never want your partner to get bored with your maneuvers between the sheets. They might end up blogging about your short-cummings or jump ship for Craigslist Casual Encounters. Getting upstaged by cyber-players that live in their mother’s basements is never good for the self-esteem. But don’t you dare give up on yourself just yet. Kick-start that faltering tryst with some flavors you already know and love. Below are some delicious twists in foreplay to eat off your play pal:
Only the finest ingredients belong on your lover
FOODS THAT BELONG IN BED:
• WHIPPED CREAM: A true bedroom classic. Need we say more?
• BERRIES: Fruity nipples you can eat artfully off your partner’s reclined body.
• SASHIMI: Subtle flavor, protein-loaded and simulates another lickable treat.
• CHOCOLATE: Melt over your favorite body parts and eat the aphrodisiac off.
• ICE CUBES: Sugar-free hardened nipples.
• POPSICLES: Cold, refreshing, phallic.
• HONEY: Perfect for licking off the naughtier bits.
• WATERMELON: Light, refreshing, organic Viagra substitute.
The tastier side of lust
FOODS TO AVOID:
• SANDWICHES: Breadcrumbs don’t belong between the sheets.
• CLAM CHOWDER: Hot, white and creamy? This ain’t no hardcore porno.
• PIZZA: Hot melted cheese is tasty, but are 3rd degree burns worth it?
• MAYONNAISE: Belongs on a sandwich, not your naughty bits.
• SALAMI: Unless you’re making object porn, just hide your own salami.
• CHILI PEPPERS: Like pouring battery acid down your shorts.
• TACO SALAD: There is nothing less sexy than this culinary abomination.
Avoid foods with less sex appeal than an STD
Leave a Comment » | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SEDUCTION | Tagged: bang, berries, chili peppers, chocolate, clam chowder, delicious, easy, edible, erotic, fluff, food, foreplay, game changer, get laid, gourmet, honey. Watermelon, ice cube, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, lick, mayonnaise, messy, munch, naked, nipples, orgasm, pizza, popsicle, recipe, romance, salami, sandwich, sashimi, SEDUCTION, sex, sexy time, simple, sinful, sushi, taco salad, Whipped cream | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 