December 17, 2014
Sexy commies gone vegan! Don’t tell Stalin…
Hello, comrades! I speak of course to the Russian women I have had the pleasure of. There is something about that accent that brings up all my childhood Cold War fears and translates them into lust. No doubt, their Soviet bloc childhoods taught them how to survive so they are as tough as they are hot. Not a wilting flower in the bunch. Banging someone tougher than you are can challenge your ego. But I welcome the challenge since the payoff makes my babushka spin. What better way to lure them in than the classic Russian dish, borscht? This Commie red soup hits the spot and nourishes the people. Even if your culinary conquest isn’t Russian, make them your comrade for the night. I’m back in the USSR! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | 
aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, HOT LIQUID LOVE, RECIPES, russian, vegan, vegetarian, winter | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, beets, carrots, cold war, commie, communism, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, HOT LIQUID LOVE, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, olive oil, onion, parsley, potatoes, puree, recipe, red cabbage, rosemary, Russia, russian, salt, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, soup, sour cream, soviet, tasty, ussr, vegan, vegan borscht recipe, vegetable stock, vegetarian, yummy | 
Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 19, 2014
You won’t need Fedex with this Russian Mail Order Bride
Olga came in a box, bubble-wrapped like a porcelain doll, holes punched into it so she could breathe. The shady website I bought her off of had to be translated by my sketchy coworker Sergei. I was $60 lighter, but now I had someone living in my house who did everything I pleased. And we’re not just talking washing dishes after one of my cooking frenzies! What made it all worth it, besides the commie sex of course, was that she had a white Russian prepared for me as soon as I came home from work. To this day, I have never found anyone who could make the drink half as well as my little Olga. What happened to her you ask? Turns out it was all a scam so she could steal my identity and my collection of baseball cards. I don’t even think Olga was her real name. Those rascally Russians! Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | libation lubrication, RECIPES, russian | Tagged: alcohol, bang, banging, baseball cards, beverage, booze, commie, delicious, direct, DIY, drinks, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, ice, identity theft, intercourse, Kahlua, kitchen, libation lubrication, libido, mail order bride, milk, naked, Olga, online, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, Sergie, sex, soviet, tasty, vodka, White Russian recipe, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 