ELVIS LIVES (TO BANG) SMOOTHEE

June 24, 2015

Elvis has left the building…with your girl

The King is back. Elvis had the right idea with his clever combination of peanut butter, honey, and bananas. A little gold lame and you will be styling even posthumously. You can be the King of your kitchen when you start your morning out with a glass of burning love. Be the hound dog who gets all shook up in the sack, while avoiding singing in some jail with backup dancers in striped prison suits. This smoothee was made on a whim when I had fuck all for ingredients and was ravenous and parched from exhausting morning sex. Simple, fast, effective. The only thing lacking was a throng of screaming girls. Technically there was only one girl screaming my name. But Elvis wasn’t the King overnight so give me time. Read the rest of this entry »


SEXIER THAN DEAD ELVIS SINWICH

July 23, 2014
They serve this fried delight at the Heartbreak Hotel

They serve this fried delight at the Heartbreak Hotel

Elvis has left the building…in a body bag.  Too many fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches I suppose. I can’t explain it, but hipsters love them some Elvis.  Must be the irony associated with his gold lamé suit, mutual love of pills and consumption of odd foods sure to leave you bloated and possibly dead on the shitter.  Cook To Bang does not endorse this behavior nor the hipster lifestyle.  But this sandwich is a delicious lark to share with your hipster lover after an ironic banging session.  Just be sure to crank some Elvis tunes, you hunk a hunk of burning love.  (That burning is Chlamydia, by the way.) Read the rest of this entry »