RUB YOUR AVOCADO BUTT-ER ON MY GRILLED SALMON

January 6, 2009

Rub-a-dub-dub all over my grub.

Rub-a-dub-dub all over my grub.

The time has come to essentially grill one aphrodisiac in the essence of another. No, I’m not talking about boiling vodka and Viagra together, although I hear they serve that ice cold in Tijuana. In a matter of 10 minutes you can have two salmon steaks grilled to perfectly in avocado butter. The creamy nutrients and silky texture of the avocado absorbs naturally into the tender, protein-packed salmon, essentially becoming one perfect package. It’s as if these two supernaturally sexy ingredients were destined to be together like Romeo and Juliet or Thelma and Louise. Let fate take over your date and you’ll be naked and out of breath on your bed before you can say, “Another glass of wine?”

Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $12
Drinking Buddy: White wine or beer

salmon-avocado-butter-prepIngredients (for two):
1. 2 salmon steaks
2. ½ teaspoon of garlic powder
3. ½ teaspoon of onion powder
4. A dash of salt
5. ½ a lemon of juice
6. 2 green onions diced
7. 1 avocado

Step 1
Mix up the green onions, avocado (scooped out of skin), lemon juice, onion powder and garlic powder in a bowl, smashing it all up with a fork, whisk or hand blender. The avocado butter will look much like guacamole.
salmon-avocado-butter-mixing1
Step 2
Spread the avocado butter evenly over each side of the salmon steaks, beginning with the topside. On medium heat, heat up a portable grill or frying pan and put the avocado butter side of the salmon down. Cover the other side of the salmon steaks with avocado butter and squeeze lemon juice over them. Once the outside of the salmon turns pinkish-white (approx 3 minutes), flip the steaks making sure not to lose the grilled avocado butter. Grill the other side so the salmon is cooked thoroughly (approx 2 minutes) and serve up with some righteous veggies like asparagus.
salmon-avocado-butter-grillsalmon-avocado-butter-served-3

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SCREW YOUR BRAINS OUT SCRAMBLE

November 26, 2008
Rambling, gambling and scrambling for a little sexy time.

Rambling, gambling and scrambling for a little sexy time.

Did the date go better than expected?  Has it already been a long morning already with the third round of coed naked Wrestle Mania?  You both must be famished and deserve a worthy recharge.  Protein and veggies should get you back on track for the afternoon of blowing of errands to go for gold in the one-hour orgasm.  Scrambles combine the flavor of the omelet with the simplicity of a boring side of scrambled eggs.  It’s chef’s choice in what to toss in the pan with the eggs.  There are as many possible combinations of veggies, meats, cheeses and flavor as sexual positions in that perverted mind of yours.  Below is essentially a killer combo available in my fridge at the time of creation.  My ravenous breakfast companion would have settled for a Pop Tart.  But why would I allow such a beautiful beggar to settle for anything less than an edible orgasm?

scramble-prepIngredients (for two):
1. 1 teaspoon of salt
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. 1 chicken sausage chopped in bite-size pieces
4. 3 eggs
5. 2 handfuls of spinach
6. 6 ½ a red bell pepper diced
7. 1 handful of shredded mozzarella cheese
8. 2 green onions diced
9. ½ a handful of cilantro chopped finely

Step 1
Crack the eggs in a bowl, thrown in the salt and the cilantro and beat together.scramble-eggs
Step 2
Throw the olive oil in a pan and sauté the green onions and sausage on medium heat until they brown.  Add the spinach and red peppers, cooking until the spinach wilts and peppers soften.scramble-veggies
Step 3
Pour in the eggs mixture over the sausage and veggies evenly so it creates a circular pancake.  Once the eggs harden, mix it all around until cook thoroughly.scramble-eggs1

Step 4
Turn off the heat, toss the mozzarella over the eggs, and cover with a lid.  Give the cheese a minute or so to melt and serve it up with some breakfast potatoes, fruit salad, or the warm embrace of a tortilla.scramble-cheese

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