While CTB has already done the GRATUITOUS GRILLED CHEESE SINWICH to great fanfare, one gourmet grilled cheese sandwich just isn’t enough. Anyone whose been to a grilled cheese contest can tell you there’ more than one way to melt congealed milk. At the GRILLED CHEESE INVITATIONAL, I learned that there are as many variations on the grilled cheese as positions in the Kama Sutra. Since CTB is not about to make grilled cheese the exclusive format, allow me to present this grilled piece of awesome for your dining pleasure. In the interest of full disclosure, I just got truffle oil and am totally and positively gay for it. A little dab works like a super lube, revving up the sexy time explosions in your mouth. Alas, I applied the glorious oil to a grilled cheese lunch. I took my first bite while standing and nearly lost my footing. Luckily the girl I was cooking for was able to break my fall or I would have knocked over the precious truffle elixir and likely licked it straight off the floor. By the time we gobbled down our sinwiches, we danced a shuffle from the kitchen into the bedroom without bothering to wash our hands first. Read the rest of this entry »
TRUFFLE SHUFFLE GRILLED CHEESEDecember 4, 2015
O-FACED OATMEALJuly 1, 2015
Oh boy! Oh man! Oh god! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (to NKTOB groove)! These are just some of the many reactions I have heard to making oatmeal CTB style. We’ve all eaten instant oatmeal, mostly during childhood, although some of us (my friends know who I speak of) still gobble that shit up. But what about the rest of whose taste buds haven’t matured beyond a 6-year-old, their fingers stained with Kool-Aid? Oatmeal can be something other than a bland exercise in self-restraint. But why not have the best of both worlds? Nutrition and flavor can still give each other lap dances with the right amount of TLC. And that’s what this recipe is all about. Here’s to the one sleeping in your bed who’s waking up to a big surprise. Expect them to be smiling like a donut. Read the rest of this entry »
SCREW YOUR BRAINS OUT SCRAMBLENovember 26, 2008
Did the date go better than expected? Has it already been a long morning already with the third round of coed naked Wrestle Mania? You both must be famished and deserve a worthy recharge. Protein and veggies should get you back on track for the afternoon of blowing of errands to go for gold in the one-hour orgasm. Scrambles combine the flavor of the omelet with the simplicity of a boring side of scrambled eggs. It’s chef’s choice in what to toss in the pan with the eggs. There are as many possible combinations of veggies, meats, cheeses and flavor as sexual positions in that perverted mind of yours. Below is essentially a killer combo available in my fridge at the time of creation. My ravenous breakfast companion would have settled for a Pop Tart. But why would I allow such a beautiful beggar to settle for anything less than an edible orgasm?
Ingredients (for two):
1. 1 teaspoon of salt
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. 1 chicken sausage chopped in bite-size pieces
4. 3 eggs
5. 2 handfuls of spinach
6. 6 ½ a red bell pepper diced
7. 1 handful of shredded mozzarella cheese
8. 2 green onions diced
9. ½ a handful of cilantro chopped finely
Crack the eggs in a bowl, thrown in the salt and the cilantro and beat together.
Throw the olive oil in a pan and sauté the green onions and sausage on medium heat until they brown. Add the spinach and red peppers, cooking until the spinach wilts and peppers soften.
Pour in the eggs mixture over the sausage and veggies evenly so it creates a circular pancake. Once the eggs harden, mix it all around until cook thoroughly.
Turn off the heat, toss the mozzarella over the eggs, and cover with a lid. Give the cheese a minute or so to melt and serve it up with some breakfast potatoes, fruit salad, or the warm embrace of a tortilla.