April 2, 2016
Naked Nacho Naughtiness needs no non-naked nonsense.

Naked Nacho Naughtiness needs no non-naked nonsense.

Because, why not?  We exhaust ourselves being seriously serious and fully clothed.  Get naughty for a change.  Is there really anything wrong with eating nachos naked in bed?  Sure it’s messy and totally awesome, but oh so primal and did I mention easy enough for a lab monkey to make?  Mr. Nutter the chimp threw this together and invited all the lady lab apes to his cage for some monkey business.  So be bold and invite your date over for naked nachos.  They will just think you mean sans meat or dairy.  Let them.  Answer the door wearing nothing but the nachos in your hand.

Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $11
Drinking Buddy: Beer

macho-nachos-prep1Ingredients (serves 2):
1. ½ bag of tortilla chips
2. 1 tablespoon of sour cream
3. 2 jalapeños diced in rounds
4. 2 tablespoons of SIMPLY SEXY SALSA
5. 2 tablespoons of GUAPO GRINGO GUACAMOLE
6. ½ can of black beans
7. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
8. 1 chicken breast grilled or baked (vegetarian exclude)
9. 2 large handfuls of shredded jack cheese

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Pull apart the chicken into shreds.  Lay a thin bed of chips on large oven safe plate.  Scoop in 2 spoonfuls of black beans, throw a handful of chicken, jalapeños, green onion, and a heaping handful of jack cheese.  Repeat the process with another smaller batch of chips and fillings until you have yourself a tower.

macho-nachos-assemble1Step 2
Throw the nachos in the oven and bake until the cheese melts into the goodness below (approx 15 min).  Create condom-ment mini mountains of SALSA, GUACAMOLE and sour cream.  Now the two of you, get naked and climb that mountain!


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March 13, 2009
Let me see you cha cha chicken!

Let me see you cha cha chicken!

Can you cha cha?  It’s only the simplest dance in the known universe.  I saw syphilitic lab monkeys doing it by accident and that was after an experiment with excess wine consumption.  If a drunken monkey can do it, you should be able to pull it off blindfolded.  This dish is on same page as the cha cha.  It’s almost impossible to screw the pooch on this one.  You could try pouring turpentine into the mix (CTB discourages this wholeheartedly), but then it would have a cool, briny taste.  Just follow the protocol below and spend your extra time kicking game. That will leave you with plenty of time to kick game while you dance the half-naked cha cha. Read the rest of this entry »