Calling all dudes! Here’s your chance to be a sugar daddy without tapping out your bank account. There’s no need to drop mortgage payments at clubs on bottle service, 10-course French dinners, or the shoe store. Instead steal their hearts and undergarments with your creativity and resourcefulness. Isn’t that why we Cook To Bang? I’m a sugar daddy that slangs sweet treats. Pass these out to one or all twelve of your sweetums. Each will be touched by your thoughtfulness and darling gesture. Who’s your daddy now, ladies? Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegetarian | Tagged: bake, baking powder, baking soda, bang, banging, bottle service, butter, cookies, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, egg, flour, food, game changer, get laid, gift, gourmet, grease, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, recipe, resourcefulness, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, slanging, strawberries, sugar cookie recipe, sugar daddy, sugar daddy cookies, sweets, tasty, thoughtfulness, vanilla extract, vegetable oil, white sugar, who’s your daddy, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Making those pesky clothes vanish is easier than you’d think. Despite the popular folklore that you first must pass a series of relationship tests in order to get there, au contraire. The scientists working around the clock in shifts down in the Cook To Bang lab have discovered a way to leapfrog that major time suck. Polenta draws people sharing it for reasons I could only explain via a Glenn Beck crazy chart. It has the effect even with polar opposites like a hipster honky in pants tighter than the sororitease he’s banging’s black fuck-me pants. Don’t question the science. It just works, like gravity. Or condoms*. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, hippie, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: bake, baking powder, baking soda, bang, banging, bottle service, butter, cookies, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, egg, flour, food, game changer, get laid, gift, gourmet, grease, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, recipe, resourcefulness, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, slanging, strawberries, sugar cookie recipe, sugar daddy, sugar daddy cookies, sweets, tasty, thoughtfulness, vanilla extract, vegetable oil, white sugar, who’s your daddy, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Out of respect to my dear grandmother, I shall refrain my usual irreverent tomfoolery for once. I have faith that you, dear reader, will realize cookies of this caliber still deserve a place in the prestigious COOK TO BANG canon. The cookies have the potential for solving the world’s problems from the border wars to erectile dysfunction. One bite will bring you back to the innocence of childhood when banging was something you did on your high chair with applesauce all over your face. But don’t let that discourage you, for these cookies are a perfect bait to lure in unsuspecting CTB candidates. They will think your thoughtfulness cute and become disarmed by the outstanding edible bounty you have presented. Invite them over for dinner, drinks and more now that you have demonstrated your culinary prowess. No one will resist when they’re under the cookies’ spell.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $10
Drinking Buddy: milk or a BANANA-RAM-YA MILKSHAKE
Ingredients (makes approx 60 cookies):
1. 1¼ cups of flour
2. ¼ cup of granulated white sugar
3. 3½ cups of oats
4. ¾ cup of packed down brown sugar
5. 1½ cups of raisins
6. 1 teaspoon of baking soda
7. 1 packet of vanilla Jell-O pudding
8. 2 eggs
9. 2 sticks of softened butter
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Mix the butter, white sugar, brown sugar and pudding mix in a large bowl. Crack the eggs in this bowl and blend it all together.
Mix the flour and baking soda in a separate bowl, and then pour into the larger bowl and mix it all together thoroughly. Add in the oats and raisins and mix until you have one sexy bowl of cookie dough.
Use a teaspoon to scoop up cookies and throw them on the ungreased baking sheets, allowing 2 inches between. Bake them until they become golden brown (approx 10-12 minutes) and remove from oven to cook. Serve it up with milk and await adulation by the masses.
Leave a Comment » | CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: amazing cookies, baked goods, baking soda, brown sugar, eggs, flour, Grandma’s oatmeal raisin cookies recipe, grandmother, Jell-O, oatmeal raisin cookies, oats, old-fashion, raisins, rosemary, secret ingredient, simple, softened butter, sweet treats, vanilla pudding, white sugar | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang