Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

Good god was last night off the chain.  And this morning hasn’t exactly been a solemn day of Sunday school or the Sabbath either.  Atonement is not an option, but chowing down is.  Naturally after a long and fruitful roll in the hay you have both developed quite the appetite.  You require the sustenance of protein and carbohydrates to keep you popping and locking into the afternoon.  All hail eggs and their natural brain and libido boost!  Scramble some of these bad boys up with some choice aphrodisi-tastic ingredients and you have yourself a full recharge.  You may having a hard time choosing between this sandwich and your date’s naked body, but know in your heart of hearts that a patient chef can have both.  Now hurry up and finish this dish!  Your bed frame has an appointment with the wall and you have neighbors to disturb.

Total time: approximately 5 minutes

Projected cost for ingredients: $6

Drinking Buddy: Orange juice or mimosas if you’re feeling saucy

Ingredients (per sandwich):
1. 1 teaspoon of salt (if desired)
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. ½ tablespoon of mayonnaise
4. 1 small baguette
5. ½ an avocado
6. 1 slice of cheddar cheese
7. 3 pieces of bacon (turkey or veggie bacon cool)
8. 2 eggs
9. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
10. ½ handful of mushrooms
11. 1 handful of lettuce
12. ½ a tomato sliced

Step 1
Fry the bacon and set aside.  Throw in the olive oil and grill up the mushrooms.

Step 2
Mix the eggs and green onions in a bowl, adding salt if desired.  Pour the mixture over the mushroom and scramble as if your lover’s husband or wife just walked into the house.  Crown the eggs with cheddar cheese and allow it to melt like the hearts of the opposite sex.

Step 3
Spread the mayonnaise on the top side of the split baguette.  Place the bacon, lettuce, tomato and avocado into the bread’s open mouth.  Finally stuff the eggs in, cut the sandwich in half and serve it to your date in bed before round 3.  Hot sauce can throw a tasty curveball your way.