BUNNY RANCH WATER

April 15, 2015
I'm sure you'll chase these bunnies down the rabbit hole

I’m sure you’ll chase these bunnies down the rabbit hole

Celebrate like a proper American.  Freedom, baby, yeah!  Indulge in all your liberties, including those only legal in certain Nevada counties.  While I personally don’t pay to bang (I cook, remember?), I certainly exchange goods (my awesome food) for sexual favors. Make your own backyard into your bunny ranch.  If you are good enough, perhaps you can bang the local cougars for quick cash while they send their hubbies out for more hamburger buns.  This simple drink is perfect for drinking all day in the sun with those you wish to bang.  It’s especially enjoyable floating in a pool surrounded by hard bodies.  So relax from all your labors and drink up.  How else will we pull ourselves out of recession?

bunny ranch water prepTotal time: approximately 2 minutes
Projected cost: $10
Eating Buddy: Any GRILLED GOODIES

Ingredients (per drink):
1. 2 shots silver tequila
2. Club soda
3. Ice
4. ½ lime
5. 1 small handful mint leaves
6. 2 STRAWBERRIES

Step 1

Fill each glass halfway up with ice.  Squeeze ½ a lime into each, dropping the rinds into cup.  Crush the strawberries in your hands and drop into the class.  Toss in a small handful of mint leaves.  Pour in the tequila.  Fill the rest of the glass with club soda and top each glass up with ice.

bunny ranch water mix

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WAFFLE PARTY USA

February 25, 2015
This waffle party is like the firework grand finale in your mouth.

This waffle party is like the firework grand finale in your mouth.

Celebrate American Independence from those tax-collecting limeys.  Those redcoats just took and took and never bothered to give their colonists a reach around.  King George shouldn’t have been surprised when they stopped sucking him off with a smile.  Perhaps if the British were more inclined to reciprocate with the oral gratification Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, and the rest of their posse wouldn’t object to being colonial fluffers.  But alas, history unfolded and now the yanks are free from British money shots splattering their bespectacled, wig-wearing faces.  If not the taxes and tariffs, chances are the Yankees would have rebelled against the piss poor British cuisine.  So celebrate Independence Day with a distinctly American dessert.  Oh say can you see? Read the rest of this entry »