July 16, 2015
Don’t be an octopussy. Eat the goddamn salad!
Don’t mess with Octopussy. That girl has Bond and every other man wrapped around her fingers, eight to be exact. But that was before she went through the Bond rotation. Octopussy never recovered once he cast her aside for the next tramp that could crush his spine with her thighs. That’s where I came in. She needed a rebound and I was generous to provide my body for that purpose. All I had to do was sneak into her floating palace past her army of trained female bodyguards with a bag full of groceries. You may assume that I am trained with the ability to scale walls and hold my breath underwater for over an hour. But all I have is my charisma and disarming sense of humor. So I subdued the Octopussy cult army with cooking anecdotes and they took me to their leader. It was tempting to just engage in a massive orgy with her trained killers, but my mission was to Cook To Bang Octopussy. Homegirl gave me 10 minutes to impress her or I would be fed to her bloodthirsty manatees. That was just enough time to fix up this salad and present it to Octopussy. One bite and she was hooked. We banged until her ego was restored. And like a good villainess, she kicked me out of bed right after and went back to work on her world domination plot. Read the rest of this entry »
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aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, seafood, spicy | Tagged: assassins, bang, basil, bloodthirsty, bond girl, brown sugar, charred octopus recipe, Charred octopus salad recipe, cherry tomatoes, crushed red pepper, delicious, DIY, easy, female army, fish sauce, floating palace, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green, guarantee, healthy, homemade, Ian Fleming, intercourse, james bond, kitchen, lemon juice, lettuce, manatee, mango, naked, octopus, octopus salad, octopussy, olive oil, recipe, salad, seduce, sex, tasty, villainess, world domination, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
November 12, 2010
Sex & The City? More like Sex In The City!
This one goes out to all you ladies having Sex & The City parties or just having sex in the city. We all know that you sophisticated women of the world like to relax and gab out their lives with a cocktail in hand. Sure the Cosmo is the uniform drink, but me thinks there’s a room for a new contender. The Sour Apple Martini is way to tart and a regular James Bond-style martini is way too boozy and requires you to have a watch that shoots lasers. Surely there’s a happy medium that is classy, refined and the “just right” like the Little Red Riding Hood in Jimmy Choos seeks. Ladies, I present to you a simple, fast and “just right” cocktail that has made every woman I served it to just a bit classier, not to mention friskier. So whether it makes you Charlottes into Samanthas or the Mirandas into a Carries (feel free to correct me as I watched the show only once with my mother who insisted that the key to understanding women was watching Sex & The City), COOK TO BANG has you covered. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, libation lubrication, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, booze, carrie bradshaw, charlotte, cocktail, Cosmopolitan, delicious, DIY, drink, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, ice, intercourse, james bond, jimmy choo, kettel one, kitchen, lasers, libation lubrication, libido, little red riding hood, Miranda, naked, pomegranate martini recipe, pommeltini bikini recipe, recipe, Samantha, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sex & the city, shaken not stirred, sophisticated, sour apple martini, sparkling pomegranate juice, tasty, vodka, watermelon, watermelon martini recipe, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 