HALLOWEEN SUCK-HER PUNCH

October 30, 2015
halloween suck-her punch served

It was a dark and stormy night. There was a knock on my door. I opened the door only to find a slutty vampire ready to suck me dry.

The time is upon us!  My favorite holiday has arrived and I am ready to indulge in all manner of costumed tomfoolery.  You have to love a holiday that is an excuse for girls to bring out their inner sluts.  And sluts are given a pass for being the whores they are.  Dudes can act like maniacs and blame the “character” they are playing.  This year I am dressing like a doctor with a cardboard box labeled: FREE MAMMOGRAMS.  Someone needs to get the word out about Breast Cancer Awareness and if that means fondling hot strangers frittatas, I accept.  Yet I digress from my main point which is encourage my readers to be reckless, drink heavily and sleep with someone dressed like a slutty nurse, hunky fireman or the 10 million lemmings dressed like Michael Jackson.  Halloween is a perfect time to recruit new dates to COOK TO BANG.  Serve this awesomely boozy and rather tasty orange punch and you’ll be well on your way.  When in doubt, blame the booze.  Boo! Read the rest of this entry »


CHICKEN WINGMAN

June 13, 2011
Like a good homie, these chicken wings got your back
Like a good homie, these chicken wings got your back

Some guys are breast men; others are legmen; I’m a wingman.  My single friends (male and female) can attest to my ability to create connections that often lead to copulation.  You’re all very welcome.  But that’s what friends do for each other.  And you should be no different.  Lovers come and go, but friendships can last a lifetime and age like fine wines.  And that’s why you need to look out for your people whether that means offering a shoulder to cry on, a pivot so they can get that hottie at the bar’s number, or just serving them up a plate of chicken wings.  I won’t lie to you and say that chicken wings are sexy.  Barbaric yes with the tearing meat off the bone with your teeth, but subtle and sexy like a sultry salad or sexy soup they are not.  But if you have yourself a sports fan that wants to watch the game between banging marathons then this recipe is for you.  This dish is fast to prep, quicker to cook and will be consumed in the blink of an eye.  Now be a good friend and help your hungry posse out (especially if it’s just the two of you). Read the rest of this entry »