HALLOWEEN SUCK-HER PUNCH

October 30, 2015
halloween suck-her punch served

It was a dark and stormy night. There was a knock on my door. I opened the door only to find a slutty vampire ready to suck me dry.

The time is upon us!  My favorite holiday has arrived and I am ready to indulge in all manner of costumed tomfoolery.  You have to love a holiday that is an excuse for girls to bring out their inner sluts.  And sluts are given a pass for being the whores they are.  Dudes can act like maniacs and blame the “character” they are playing.  This year I am dressing like a doctor with a cardboard box labeled: FREE MAMMOGRAMS.  Someone needs to get the word out about Breast Cancer Awareness and if that means fondling hot strangers frittatas, I accept.  Yet I digress from my main point which is encourage my readers to be reckless, drink heavily and sleep with someone dressed like a slutty nurse, hunky fireman or the 10 million lemmings dressed like Michael Jackson.  Halloween is a perfect time to recruit new dates to COOK TO BANG.  Serve this awesomely boozy and rather tasty orange punch and you’ll be well on your way.  When in doubt, blame the booze.  Boo! Read the rest of this entry »


STROKE MY BANANAS FOSTER

August 16, 2010
Only sexy monkeys deserve to taste these bananas
Only sexy monkeys deserve to taste these bananas

The South will rise again…in your mouth.  I do declare!  This outstanding Southern Cuisine classic is a sure fire way of impressing even that skeptical date who sneered at the 4-course meal you’ve already served.  Your caveman instinct will kick in like a racehorse back-kick to the cranium the moment you combine fire and food.  Putting an amazing dessert on fire is like thunking a cave-babe over the head with a club and dragging her into the cave (works on cave-dudes too).  The bananas sweet crispy outside gives way to a hot creamy center that is begging for some culinary cunnilingus.  The extra Foster sauce works like a much-need lube that allows you to navigate the sweet and rummy flavors.  And you can always cool it all down with dip in the melting ice cream pool.  Prepare to have your mind and possibly something else blown.

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