July 29, 2015
Let your date guess what they’re tasting. They will be surprised and aroused.
Shandy, you dandy randy non-brandy. This is a classic British drink that runs the gamut of concoctions from the mundane: beer mixed with 7-Up to the insane: beer mixed lighter fluid and sharks blood. Let’s just call this one a compromise that is Forest Gump stupid easy to make. The garnishes make all the difference. The mint, lime and lemons are like the tuxedo that covers up a pair of tighty whiteys. Shandy’s are refreshingly intoxicating and are perfect to cool your hot steamy ass off. After all, Shandy’s were the drink of choice for the British imperialists occupying nation a whole muggier than their cooler limey homes. So make like an imperialist swine and occupy some territory in your date’s pantalones. Read the rest of this entry »
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Posted by cooktobang
July 20, 2015
Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with cinco sessions de bango!
The time has come my friends to celebrate the Mexican army’s triumph over France in 1852! Those of you who think today is Mexican Independence Day need to drop the Corona and sober up. You see, nothing says raw sex appeal like Mexican military history. No doubt we will all focus on the strategic importance of this victory rather than get piss drunk on tequila and stuff our mouths with all manner of FINGER FOODS. But if you must indulge in the tomfoolery of celebrating Mexican culture, drink with style. The sexy senoritas and senors will respond more favorably to a beverage of this caliber than to a margarita made from that acidic pre-mix and bad tequila. Now make like a Mexican jumping bean and dance around that sombrero. Ole! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | fusion, libation lubrication, mexican, RECIPES | Tagged: 1852, alcohol, alcoholic, bang, Bangarita, beer, beverage, booze, boozy, cinco de mayo, corona, delicious, DIY, drink, drunk, easy, foo, France, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, history, homemade, ice, intercourse, kitchen, libation librication, lime, liquor, mango margarita recipe, mango nectar, mangorita recipe, margarita, mexican, Mexican independence day, mexico, military, mint leaves, naked, raw cane sugar, recipe, sauced, seduce, senoritas, senors, sex, sex appeal, silver tequila, tasty, triple sec, vodka, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 1, 2014
Morgina? Aye yi, el capitan!
I discovered this drink purely by accident. While visiting New York, a friend brought me to one of the last games played in Yankee Stadium. Responsible members of society that we are, we pre-gamed in the subway. Serendipity inspired my friend to get a bottle of Captain Morgan’s while I was thirsty for a little Eurotrash soda and went with Orangina. As a lark, we combined forces and something magical happened. Two derelicts boozing on the subway caught their own lightning in a bottle! As the booze kicked in, we became spokesmen for our new beverage. I’m sure we frightened most of our fellow subway riders, but if we inspired only one other person, it was worth it. The game itself was uneventful. Truth be told, I don’t remember most of it. But after the game we caught up with some girls we me out at a bar the other night. The ladies did agree that we reinvented the wheel with our new beverage. We got muy intoxicado and carried on like pirates into the wee hours sans clothing. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | Caribbean, libation lubrication, RECIPES | Tagged: bang, banging, baseball, beverage, booze, captain morgans, cocktail, delicious, derelict, DIY, drunk, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, ice, intercourse, kitchen, libation, libido, lime, liquor, mint leaves, mix, naked, new york, orangina, pirates, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, serendipity, sex, spiced rum, spokesmen, subway, tasty, Yankees, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 15, 2011
Ginger ale never tasted so damn innapproprate!
I’m the first to admit that I’ve had relations with a fire crotch. Actually more than one. More than…uh, never mind! I may have a problem. All I see is red. I probably should see a shrink about this. The red menace of the Cold War ain’t got nothing on my compulsion for banging red heads. Maybe it’s something primal like I was a bull killed by a matador in a past life. Ole my ass! At least now I get that red instead of being teased and tormented before being slaughtered for the crowd’s delight. This refreshing and APHRODISIAC bombshell hits the spot and lures those gingers right in. Be warned that it’s a bitch cleaning up all the red hairs gingers leave behind. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, healthy, libation lubrication, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: alcohol, alcoholic, aphrodisiac, bang, bombshell, booze, chasing ginger tail, club soda, delicious, DIY, drink, drunk, easy, fire crotch, food, game changer, get laid, ginger, gingers, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, Homemade ginger ale recipe, homemade new york cream soda recipe, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lime, limejuice, mint leaves, naked, ny cream soda, raw cane sugar, recipe, red head, red-headed stepchild, seduce, sex, tasty, vanilla-infused vodka, vodka, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 