Let’s be honest here. You wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t like banging. Right? If you thought this site was for carpentry where you learn how to bang hammer to nail…forgive me my trespassing. I am nothing like Jesus the carpenter or Son of God, unless you count the ripped abs from all that stretching on the crucifix. But I do offer you recipes reserved for the gods so in some ways you aren’t totally off. Here we have classic middle-eastern nosh that Jesus may have sampled during one of his hangouts with his twelve adoring homies AKA apostles. Kebabs are simple and perfect for those waning days of summer. Grill, broil it, munch it. Each bite brings you closer to God. Amen to that! Read the rest of this entry »
It was only a matter of time before COOK TO BANG invaded the popsicle world. Summer is here and we need a cool and refreshing way to rev up our libidos. Look no further than the CTB Pornsicle series. We’re talking frozen pops loaded with APHRODISIACS and attitude. This is the perfect post-coital treat to get your loins a much-needed recharge for Round 2 banging your divine date demands. Feel free to include these frozen phallic pops are perfect to include in your culinarylingus activities. With fewer calories and natural ingredients, why would you lick anything else?
Shandy, you dandy randy non-brandy. This is a classic British drink that runs the gamut of concoctions from the mundane: beer mixed with 7-Up to the insane: beer mixed lighter fluid and sharks blood. Let’s just call this one a compromise that is Forest Gump stupid easy to make. The garnishes make all the difference. The mint, lime and lemons are like the tuxedo that covers up a pair of tighty whiteys. Shandy’s are refreshingly intoxicating and are perfect to cool your hot steamy ass off. After all, Shandy’s were the drink of choice for the British imperialists occupying nation a whole muggier than their cooler limey homes. So make like an imperialist swine and occupy some territory in your date’s pantalones. Read the rest of this entry »
Read through the footnotes of the Kama Sutra and you will learn about a mysterious dish with incomparable sexual power. This dish had not been created then, but was predicted by a great Indian psychic. I took the liberty of deciphering the ancient Sanskrit because I am a power hungry sociopath. My goal was to control the opposite sex’s minds. So far so good. I can get my stable to sit, fetch and bend over. Good girls! The simplicity of grilled fish and a salad makes this one of the easiest methods of keeping someone you want to bang under your spell. Now I pass along this fabled recipe to you. Grill with God! Read the rest of this entry »
This recipe comes courtesy of James in Portland, OR. Here’s to starting off the summer right with a unique summer grill recipe! James writes:
Something about those summer thrills gives me the chills. Sure you’re sweating your balls off and stuffing your face with something hot. But this recipe is so damn cool it makes you feel all refreshed because it’s still healthy and damn tasty! My mama always told me broccoli would make me live forever. Who know if that is true? One thing I can say with certainty, I’m gonna Cook To Bang forever! Read the rest of this entry »