Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

French your breakfast and your date will be Frenching you

Holy shit, it’s a leap year! That means paradox like the English and French getting along. Some say the English need to loosen up.  They walk around with their quiet desperation eager to break out of their shells and become the wild men and women that would make their ancestors gasp.  This tends to happen whenever limeys leave the UK and travel to exotic locales.  Ibiza…nuff said.  Perhaps a little French Laissez-faire is just the ticket.  So alas, I have employed a little French to make the sexiest English muffin you ever did eat.  It was pure accident and the girl I made it for wasn’t even English or French for that matter.  But with no bread in sight and my sweet tooth demanding tribute be paid, I made do.  I’m sure glad I didn’t have bread because I was down to French these English muffins all morning.  My date from the previous night was confused, thinking it a tad early in our affair for me to make proclamations of love.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was speaking to my breakfast.  But then she took a bite and the love fest continued well into the afternoon.

Total time: approximately 12 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. ¼ cup milk
2. ½ cup maple syrup
3. ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
4. 2 dashes cinnamon
5. 2 eggs
6. 2 English muffins
7. 1 banana
8. 1 tbsp butter
9. 1 handful raisins

Step 1
Create the batter by whipping up the eggs, cinnamon, vanilla extract and milk.

Step 2
Split the English muffins in half and submerge them in the batter.  Heat up a pan or griddle on medium heat and grease it with the butter.  Throw the soaked English muffins on the pan all together and pour the excess batter over.  Cook each side until it browns and flip (approx 3 min per side).

Step 3
While you are Frenching the toast, create the extra awesome syrup.  Heat up the syrup in a small bowl, chop the banana into bite-sized pieces and toss them in with the raisins.  Cook until the syrup boils and the bananas brown slightly (approx 2 min).  Serve over your sexed up English muffins and hold on for dear life.

Serve this breakfast knowing full well that you could swim across the English channel, bridging that cultural gap.