FINGER LICKIN’ ASS KICKIN’ CHICKEN LETTUCE WRAPS

July 30, 2014

I wrapped these tasty morsels up in lettuce and God said it was good.

You read that right. These lettuce wraps are no joke. Dr. Atkins is saluting them from his cloud in heaven. How could this much flavor be packed into such a low carb treat? Is it a miracle? Did God communicate this recipe to me from atop the mountain like Moses on Mount Sinai? The answer to all these questions is “You damn skippy!” This creation has absolutely nothing to do with the fact there was no bread in my house. Poppycock to those heretics who suggest otherwise. And the crowd of one I served it was certainly happy and surprised by the result. She too doubted that it would work. But I converted her into a believer. Can I get an amen? Read the rest of this entry »


SINFUL SALVATION SALAD

June 17, 2009
Eternal culinary salvation is at your fingertips.

Eternal culinary salvation is at your fingertips.

Praise the Lor…no wait…praise the whores!  May all the sinners of the world indulge without fear of reprisal from the cock-blocking conservatives.  Who are they to say what body parts you can or can’t slather in salad dressing?  Do my nipples smothered in Japanese miso dressing condemn me to eternal damnation?  Alas, my conscience says NO!  Fear not the reprisals from an angry God bent on you burning in hell fire with sharp pitchforks piercing your soft bum.  Instead we must continue our hedonist ways for the sake of our fellow sinners.    This salad is all about indulging without risking tainting your soul or your healthy diet regimen.  So dig in and feel no shame.  You are loved.  Amen.

salivate for this salad prepTotal time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: White wine or a PANTY DROPPING SHANDY

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 chicken breast baked
2. 1 hard-boiled egg
3. Japanese miso dressing
4. 1 handful of dried cranberries
5. Lettuce
6. 1 tomato cut in wedges
7. ½ an AVOCADO sliced thinly

Step 1
Chop the lettuce into bite-sized pieces.  Slice the hardboiled egg thinly.  Cut the chicken into long strips.salivate for this salad chop chop

Step 2
Lay out each plate in this order: lettuce, tomato, avocado, chicken, egg, cranberries and lastly Japanese miso dressing at your discretion.salivate for this salad mix

Serve up without shame or fear of religious reprisal.

salivate for this salad served

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