June 17, 2015
BBW…Big Beautiful Women…Brash Bold Wicked
This one goes out to all the Big Beautiful Ladies out there. I’m not too proud to admit that in the course of banging like a champion, I’ve entertained a few BBW with “great personalities”. So here’s a sexy salad with an amazing personality. It’s delicious, nutritious, and calorie-vicious. While most salads are meant to help you lose weight, a few rather yummy ones work the opposite way. The very nature of ranch dressing is an oxymoron: making lean salads fattening. But the creamy liquid does taste dreamy. Combine it with tangy BBQ sauce and the calorically-challenged will flock. This salad is sure to satisfy both of your cravings. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | 
aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, LEAFY & LOVELY, poultry, RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, barbecue chop chicken salad, bbq chop chicken salad recipe, bbq sauce, bbw, BBW BBQ Chop Chicken Salad recipe, big beautiful women, black beans, breast, calorically-challenged, chicken, cilantro, corn, creamy, delicious, DIY, dreamy, dressing, easy, fiber, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, great personality, green onion, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, jack cheese, kitchen, lettuce, libido, naked, olive oil, ranch dressing, recipe, romaine, roughage, salad, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, tomato, tortilla chips, toss my salad, tossed salad, veggies, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
March 10, 2015
If you’re looking for trouble, you’ve come to the right site.
If you’re looking at this site, you are most certainly asking for trouble. This is not a nice blog to share with your grandmother. Perhaps your mom, if she’s open-minded or a hot MILF. The Cook To Bang staff warns you that our content may cause increased heart rate and libido. But can you blame us? We are all hopped up on this Atkins-friendly low-carb protein-blast salad. Every bite brings us closer to walking confidentially in thongs in South Beach. We employed the countless fad diets and a massive dose of steroids to make us beach ready. You’re wondering if the risks to my health and mental state for bedlam rock-star food orgies were worth it. You think this hot ass and glistening bedroom muscles are some accident? Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, atkins, fusion, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, poultry, RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, asking for trouble, atkins, atkins for trouble burger salad, avocado, bang, banging, barbecue sauce, bbq sauce, bedroom muscles, black pepper, burger salad recipe, carbs, carrots, cilantro, delicious, DIY, dr. atkins, easy, egg, fad diets, food, food orgies, food orgy, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onions, greens, grill, ground beef, ground turkey, guarantee, hard-boiled, homemade, hot ass, intercourse, kitchen, libido, milf, naked, olive oil, raspberry vinaigrette, recipe, rock star, salad, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, south beach, south beach diet, spinach, steroids, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 29, 2014
If this can’t breathe some heat into your fall…you best get used to a cold empty bed.
Hold on tight to the memories. The warmth of the air made it unnecessary for people to wear layer upon layer of clothing. Summer flings are winding down, or in some cased winding up…for the long winter that lies ahead. Bikinis and mankinis are being put away in boxes to collect dust, dry as a bone. Can you blame us for being a tad wistful over the season we left behind? Fall’s great with the accessories (I’m partial to sweaters), but just for now, with this pineapple in my hand, I’m keeping things warm and shimmery. The succulent pineapple meat charred over fire sends me right back to that moment on the beach, laying post-coital on a hammock with a local lovely feeding me freshly grilled pineapple. So yeah, bring your own special memory of summer back with a vengeance. Chances are the lucky someone you grill this pineapple for has their own wicked summer senses to reignite. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | asian, Caribbean, fusion, healthy, RECIPES, summer, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: bang, banging, barbecue sauce, bbq, Bbq pineapple recipe, bbq sauce, bikini, char, charcoal, coleman, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onions, grill, grilled pineapple recipes, guarantee, hammock, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, last gasp, libido, local, mankini, marinade, memories, naked, pineapple, post-coital, propane, recipe, savory, seduce, SEDUCTION, sense, sex, side dish, succulent, summer, sweet, tasty, wicked, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 30, 2014
I wrapped these tasty morsels up in lettuce and God said it was good.
You read that right. These lettuce wraps are no joke. Dr. Atkins is saluting them from his cloud in heaven. How could this much flavor be packed into such a low carb treat? Is it a miracle? Did God communicate this recipe to me from atop the mountain like Moses on Mount Sinai? The answer to all these questions is “You damn skippy!” This creation has absolutely nothing to do with the fact there was no bread in my house. Poppycock to those heretics who suggest otherwise. And the crowd of one I served it was certainly happy and surprised by the result. She too doubted that it would work. But I converted her into a believer. Can I get an amen? Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, atkins, dairy, healthy, poultry, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: amen, atkins, bang, banging, barbecue sauce, bbq sauce, believer, calivirgin, cheese, chicken, chicken lettuce wrap, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, god, gourmet, grilled, guarantee, healthy, heretic, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, libido, low-carb, mayonnaise, moses, mount Sinai, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, onion, pear, poppycock, recipe, sandwich, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, tomato, wrap, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 27, 2010
Go Big Pimpin' or go home alone.
Sometimes you gotta big time your salads. Sure you could serve your date up a simple green salad. But unless you’re following it up with some bodacious entrée, that date of yours will lose interest long before dessert. And that’s if they don’t fall asleep face-first in your uninspired salad. That is why I went all big pimpin’ with this salad. The hot Chiquita bonita I had over wanted something slamming that would not be expanding her sexy backside. Aye yi, la Capitan! The result: our expectations (her appetite; my libido) were surpassed. I might as well have been drinking Chardonnay out of a pimp chalice with the Cook To Bang logo written in diamonds. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, Cajun, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, seafood, southern | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bang, banging, barbecue, bbq sauce, bbq seasoning, bbq shrimp salad recipe, big pimpin’ bbq shrimp salad, big pimping, big time, bodacious, calivirgin, chardonnay, Chiquita bonita, cilantro, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onion, greens, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, libido, naked, olive oil, pimp chalice, recipe, red wine vinegar, salad, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shrimp, tasty, tomato, toss your salad, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
October 12, 2009
Peep perfect pineapples preferably perpetually!
That’s right. I’m peeping your pineapples. Is that a problem? Am I offending you by leering? I can’t help it if them apples are all that and bag of lettuce…that happens to be in my hand. I come correct when it comes to lunchtime fare. This is the perfect lunch you finally make Saturday afternoon after spending the whole morning nursing a hangover and an extended orgasm. Then again, it makes a pretty bodaciously badass dinner salad to serve with a light ENTRÉE. With greens, meats and fruit this good together, I’m sure you can let my lecherous ways slide just this once. And while we’re on the subject of sliding, slide on over this way so we can slip slide the night away. As a delicious side note: pineapple makes certain male fluids taste better. Just looking for the ladies (and a the fab fellas) with oral fixations.
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: PANTY DROPPING SHANDY
Ingredients (for 2):
1. 1 tsp red wine vinegar
2. 3 tbsp BBQ sauce
3. ½ tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
4. 2 handfuls lettuce coarsely chopped
5. 2 handfuls pineapple cubed
6. 1 handful mozzarella shredded
7. 2 chicken breasts
8. 3 green onions chopped coarsely
Step 1
Create the dressing by pureeing 1 small handful of pineapple, red wine vinegar, olive oil, and BBQ sauce.
Step 2
Marinate the chicken with half the green onions and the BBQ sauce. Grill the chicken through with all of the BBQ marinade, flipping once (approx 2 min per side). Chop the chicken into bite-sized pieces.
Step 3
Assemble the lettuce, pineapple, green onions, chopped chicken and toss your salad with the dressing.
Leave a Comment » | RECIPES | Tagged: bang, banging, bbq chicken salad, bbq sauce, bodacious, calivirgin, chicken, chicken out your pineapples salad, citrus, cum, delicious, dinner salad, DIY, easy, fab, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onion, guarantee, hangover, Hawaii, Hawaiian, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, leering, lettuce, libido, lunch, male fluids, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, oral fixation, orgasm, peeping, pineapple, pineapple chicken salad recipe, recipe, red wine vinegar, salad, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, slide, tasty, white meat, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 