PINCH YOUR ASS-BERRY BROWNIES

November 24, 2008
Even a man without taste buds would have an edible orgasm from this treasure.

Even a man without taste buds would have an edible orgasm from this treasure.

I challenge anyone to make these brownies and not succeed in melting the heart of your intended conquest.  This dish is so sensual and irresistible that I seduced myself.  It was quite the challenge to  share it with my date.  She couldn’t keep her finger out of my batter and licked my bowl clean.  We nearly finished it off before it made it into the oven.  Good thing we did because these brownies were radioactive with awesomeness.  This is an aphrodisiac double feature with more chocolate than Willy Wonka could pull out of his hat with the antioxidant raspberry remix.  Just thinking about these brownies brings a tear to my eyes because I know what dessert in heaven will taste like, minus the annoying harp music.  Accept the raspberry brownies into your heart and sing a post-coital Hallelujah!

raspberry-brownies-prepIngredients:
1. 2/3 cup of baking flour
2. ¼ teaspoon of baking powder
3. ¾ cup of sweet ground chocolate/cocoa (Ghiradelli recommended)
4. ¼ teaspoon of salt
5. ½ a small package of fresh/frozen raspberries
6. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
7. 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips
8. 1 stick of butter
9. ¾ cup of sugar
10. 2 eggs

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Sift together the flour, cocoa mix, sugar, salt and baking powder.  Melt the stick of butter and beat in with eggs and vanilla extract.  Mix the eggs/butter combination with the dry cocoa/flour/sugar mix into a batter.  Blend in the chocolate chips and you have mind-blowing batter that you can bake or lick off your date’s naughty bits.
raspberry-brownies-batter1
Step 2
Grease that small pan (9 inch square recommended) like its never been greased up before.  Pour in half the batter like a pleasure-delaying seduction. Tuck those babe-licious berries into the brownie batter bed before smothering it with the other half of cocoa-laden chaos.  Throw the baking pan into the oven and bake for 25-35 minutes.  When in doubt, us a toothpick to dip into the brownie: if the pick comes out dry you got yourself a decadent dessert.  Allow to cool for 15 minutes, then serve with ice cream, a glass of milk, or with your best deal-closing move.raspberry-brownies-pan

raspberry-brownies-ready

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BANG ‘TIL YOU’RE BLUE-A KAHLUA BROWNIES

November 16, 2008

Kahlua brownie makes your date go to townie

Kahlua brownie will make 'em go downie on you

If you are sweet on your sweetheart, use chocolate to seal the deal.  Chocolate is an amazingly effective aphrodisiac that gets the heart rate up, increases blood flow and creates a natural feeling of well being, euphoria, and with any luck, wanton lust.  Ancient Aztec’s thought it invigorated men and made women less inhibited and they consumed it before battle or intense rounds of sexual activity.  Have we learned nothing from history?  Do as the Aztec do and do it all night with some natural aphrodisiacs.  The fact that it tastes like food reserved for the Gods is beside the point.  Take it a step further with Kahlua.  The Mexican liqueur makes bad coffee tastes superb, a white Russian worthwhile and stands alone like champ just on ice.  Combine chocolate and Kahlua into homemade brownies and you are well on your way to a tasty, triumphant evening.  If the magnificent meal you made can’t seal the deal, go for the knockout punch.  Hand feed your date a Kahlua Brownie and follow it up with a chocolate flavored kiss.  Mmm…

kahlua-brownie-prepIngredients (for 2):
1. ½ stick of butter
2. 4 ounces of unsweetened baking chocolate
3. 2 cups of sugar
4. 3 eggs
5. 1 teaspoon of baking powder
6. 1½ cups of flour
7. 1 teaspoon of salt
8. 2 cups of Kahlua
9. ½ cup of shredded coconut

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  In one mixing bowl combine the flour, salt and baking powder and mix together thoroughly.  In a second bowl, mix the eggs and sugar together so they are united, like the 13 original US colonies.
kahlua-brownie-mix-f42d61a
Step 2
Use a saucepan to heat the butter and melt down the chocolate.  Add 1½ cups of the Kahlua (saving the other ½ cup) and mix until it is one chocolate river of goodness.kahlua-brownie-choc1

Step 3
Bring together the flour/salt/baking power with the egg/sugar and melted chocolate/Kahlua into one big party.  Blend it all into a batter and make it all better by adding the shredded coconut.  Pour the better batter into a greased baking pan and spread it out evenly.
kahlua-brownie-mix-it-up
Step 4
Throw the baking pan in the oven and bake for 35-40 minutes. If you are unsure if it is ready, dip a toothpick into the brownie: if it comes out clean you have yourself bake brownies.  Finally, use a brush or flat spoon to spread out the remaining ½ cup of Kahlua and let it settle for 5 minutes into a glaze.  Cut the brownies up and serve with milk, ice cream or use them to bribe a cop out of a speeding ticket.kahlua-brownie-kahlua-glaze