May 5, 2010
And along comes the second installment of the emotional Douche Bags VS. Cook To Bang guy saga. This time the douches crash and burn spending serious coin at a fancy restaurant. The Cook To Bang guy kills it by simply cooking and banging at home.
Stay tuned for the final DBag chapter. 1 week until the CTB BOOK hits bookshelves! I know you’re waiting with baited breath.
April 27, 2010
With two weeks until the Cook To Bang book is unleashed upon an unsuspecting populace, we created a series of promos contrasting the Douche Bag and Cook To Bang methods of dating. This promo features three douchebags dropping their cheesiest barroom pick up lines. The Cook To Bang Guy schools them with his charm and culinary prowess.
Stay tuned for more exciting chapters in the DBAG vs. CTB saga!
Meet the Douche Bags: Read the rest of this entry »
November 18, 2009
Breakfast totally gets me hard
Breakfast just gets my juices flowing if you catch my drift. And it’s not just because of morning wood. Eating something delicious and nourishing in the cold, dark hours of a new day puts in a good place. It’s not unlike morning sex. The combination of the two sends me to work with a bounce in my step that no micromanaging boss could take away. So when captain douche bag stops by your cubicle to ask how that report is coming along, you can look them in the eye, smile and say, “I’m right on top of that.” What you’re really thinking is, “I spent my morning humping, pumping and then munching, so suck it, boss man.” Now get on with your day because you have a night of cooking and banging to look forward to while your boss will go home to cry into a bowl of soggy Cheerios.
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Free squeezed OJ or NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 dash paprika
2. 1 dash garlic salt
3. 2 massive handfuls chard
4. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
5. 4 eggs
6. ½ AVOCADO sliced thinly
7. 2 bacon strips
Chop the bacon into nibbles. Wash the chard and chop.
Beat the eggs with garlic salt and paprika.
Fry the bacon in the olive oil until crispy. Throw in the chard and cook down (approx 2 min). pour in the eggs and ever so slowly scramble so they form in slabs of eggy goodness. Top it off avocado slices and prepare for liftoff.