March 25, 2016
Who’s up for a fling with some chicken wings?
These chicken wings were made in a rush for a party watching the NBA Finals. It is the only time even non-basketball geeks hop aboard the fan-wagon. That was certainly the case with my buddy’s girlfriend and her sorority sisters. Uninformed, screaming girls and high stakes sports don’t mix. But one of them had a cute smile that screamed “bad girl on board”. So I ignored the game and made sure she tried my latest and greatest recipe. The spicy, APHRODISIAC triple-threat in the wings did the trick. We both blew off the party to have our own NBA: National Banging Association. I just found out who won the game because I have been her sexual captive.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a BANGARITA
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp of HONEY
2. 1 tbsp of Sriracha Hot CHILI Sauce
3. 1 tbsp of brown sugar
4. 4 green onions chopped coarsely
5. 1 lb of defrosted chicken wings
6. ½ a lemon
7. 1 handful of chopped BASIL
Marinate the chicken in the lemon, cilantro, green onions, brown sugar, honey and Sriracha sauce. Mix it together and allow it to marinate in the fridge (at least 15mins).
Cook the wings in a large deep pan on medium-high heat. Cover the chicken and cook until meat browns (approx 15 min). Flip the chicken, recover and cook until all the sauce cooks into the meat (approx 10 min).
Serve up the wings up solo or with your favorite condom-ment.
June 4, 2009
Whatever, however, whoever. Just Cook To Bang.
Admittedly, this salad’s title kind of blows. Not even with the steroids I scored from Manny Ramirez can I always bat 1000. But this salad neither blew nor sucked. It was totally off the hook yet totally unplanned. I found out way too late that the young lady who came over for dinner was a militant vegetarian. Something about a misdemeanor for chaining herself to a fur coat store in college. Note to self: stop picking up girls at yoga class. The killer SALMON DISH that is a shoe-in CTB was well out. But the consolation prize was she loved feta cheese. So into the fridge I went and in a moment of panic grabbed everything that looked like feta-friendly. The salad before you is whatever was in the fridge and it was awesome. My hippie crusader chained herself to my bed to protest us running out.
Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: SLUTTY TEMPLE
1. ½ head of romaine lettuce
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. 1 pinch of herbs de Provence
4. 1 handful of kalamata olives
5. ½ lemon
6. 2 endives
7. 3 green onions chopped coarsely
8. 2 tomatoes chopped coarsely
9. 1 steamed red BEET sliced thinly
10. Steamed ASPARAGUS
11. 1 small handful of feta cheese (leave out to make vegan)
First you must prep the vegetables. Break the romaine lettuce apart every two inches and wash it all. Slice up the endives every inch or so. Also cut the asparagus every inch or so.
Combine the sliced endives, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, beets, olives, crumbled feta cheese, Herbs de Provence, olive oil, and lemon juice in a large bowl. Toss that salad like a pro.
Serve it up to even the crunchiest of guests.