SPAGHETTI SQUASH NUDEY NOODLES

November 13, 2012
The resourceful bird gets the worm and makes their lovers squirm with glee.

The resourceful bird gets the worm and makes their lovers squirm with glee.

One good spaghetti squash recipe deserves another.  The first round was ITALIAN PASTA STYLE; this is an Asian spicy noodle version that maximizes the low-carb way of life.  Truth be told, these spaghetti squash strands were leftovers I had no clue how to make.  But I was hung over one morning with some random piece of strange from the night before whose name I couldn’t remember for the life of me sleeping in my bed.  I thought perhaps some sustenance would jar my brain into remembering who the hell this naked hottie was still snoring. Carbs help soak up alcohol, but to my chagrin, my roommate finished up my rice noodles.  My head was pounding too hard to act anything but resourceful.  Many thanks to the leftover spaghetti squash strands that were a champion noodle substitute.  My mystery date dug them too.  And my roommate redeemed herself for her early offense by introducing herself to the beautiful stranger, hence arming me with a name.  It made things easier when I asked the less-mysterious girl to leave before my lunch date arrived. Read the rest of this entry »


SEX NINJA OYSTERS

July 9, 2012
Don't commit hari kari! You got so much banging to do...

Don’t commit hari kari! You got so much banging to do…

Dead sexy. That is how they describe those who got in my way. To my nemeses, you are on notice: don’t mess with my cooking or banging game! I trained in mountains of Japan not only to cook amazing Japanese dishes and bang geishas by the bushel, but to kill when necessary. Wielding a knife is already second nature to me. That’s merely in addition to my ability to climb walls with suction cups, assassinate foreign dignitaries in their sleep, and then bang their mistresses. It’s almost unfair to my rivals, but life is a series of injustices that I am slowly correcting. I have to make up for my yellow Walkman being smashed by a neighborhood bully when I was 8. If that means cooking, banging, and occasionally killing bad guys, so be it! These oysters are one of many tricks up my ninja sleeves. They render prudes powerless to control their unbridled lust. Hi-ya! Read the rest of this entry »