MISO HORNY COD

February 12, 2016
This dish love you long time!

This dish love you long time!

The Cook To Bang classic recipe is back in time for Valentines Day. Few recipes are this effective at harnessing the power of gastrosexuality. The Japanese approach everything with perfection in mind from manga to ninjas to oral.  Miso cod is no exception.  It’s a little sweet, a little savory, and 100% banging. The tender fish breaks off into scrumptious flakes and is complimented by the steamed bok choy.  The flavors battle on your tongue in a perfectly choreographed samurai duel.  Your date will love you long time.

Total time: approximately 3 hours (mostly marinating fish)
Projected cost: $15
Drinking Buddy: Sake, beer or a dry white wine

miso-horny-cod-prepIngredients (for two):
1. ¼ cup of sake*
2. 1/3 cup of mirin*
3. ½ cup of sugar
4. ¾ cup of white miso paste*
5. ½ a lemon worth of juice
6. 2 tablespoons of soy sauce
7. 2 black cod filets*
8. 4 baby bok choys*
*all of these items are available at any Japanese/Asian market

Step 1
On medium heat, boil the sake and mirin for 20-30 seconds until the alcohol cooks out.  Add the miso paste and cook until the chunks dissolve into the liquid.  Finally, mix the sugar in and cook until it dissolves.  Set the pan aside and allow the miso sauce to cool.
miso-horny-cod-sauce
Step 2
If necessary, de-bone the fish fillets.  Pat the fillets dry with a paper towel.  Slather up the fish with the miso sauce so they are fully coated with miso goodness.  Leave the fish in a bowl and cover with saran wrap.  Allow the fish to marinate in the miso sauce at least 2½ hours (the longer it marinates, the tastier it will be).
miso-horny-cod-marinate
Step 3
When the fish is ready, preheat your oven to broil.  Wipe off the excess marinade and place the fillets in a baking ban.  Broil the fish until it the surface starts to brown.  Remove the pan, and then preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.  Throw the fish back in and cook 10-15 minutes longer.
miso-horny-cod-broil-bake
Step 4
While the fish is baking, steam the baby bok choy until the leaves wilt and turn bright green.  Mix the soy sauce and lemon in a separate bowl and it toss the steamed bok choy. Serve the fish and bok choy artfully on the plate.  Your date should be remarkably wowed.
miso-horny-cod-bok-choymiso-horny-cod-served-2

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COCONUT COD-PIECE

February 5, 2016
Slap on that codpiece and eat some goddamn cod!

Slap on that codpiece and eat some goddamn cod!

I generally don’t recommend being bashful and covering up your naughty bits. But for some reason it has been deemed socially unacceptable to prance around naked in public. So when social decorum outweighs your exhibitionist tendencies, you need to figure out a classy way to cover up. Bring on the codpiece! Your most shocking parts will be hidden from view, yet you will leave everyone guessing what you could possibly be packing. And that’s just where you want to be. Apply this same hidden package of awesome theory to the meal you serve to your date. Nothing packs quite a flavor wallop like this black cod dish I made as an afterthought. The task at hand was preparing MISO HORNY COD that has been dropping panties since 2003. But I had leftover cod that required my swift attention lest these beautiful cuts of fish go the way of slap bracelets. So my date the following night was given a rarefied chance to try something new and totally untested. This dish is what follows and thank god for that! Lord knows she was thanking god in her own lascivious way. Read the rest of this entry »


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Enjoy the tsunami of edamame!

 

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X marks the G-spot

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There's room for one more, three's never a crowd.

There's room for one more, three's never a crowd.

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Poking around in the dark never tasted so good.

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If you don't like succulent food, you can suck it.

If you don’t like succulent food, you can suck it.

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