September 23, 2013

Soba So Lucky So Good

There are bad carbs and good carbs. Some good carbs can be great carbs with the right amount of sex appeal. We’re about to take what is already damn good for you and make it damn good for your culinary seduction game. Leave it to the Japanese to make noodles this banging on the healthy scale. They already brought us ninjas, sumo wrestling, and anime porn. No one should be surprised that their culinary innovations are as versatile as a geisha who goes from flower dancing to lap dancing. The addition of winter veggies creates an extra bonus like banging a hottie who can actually carry on a conversation other than shopping or sports. I think I’m in love, or just very hungry and horny. Either way, munch freely! Read the rest of this entry »


July 9, 2012
Don't commit hari kari! You got so much banging to do...

Don’t commit hari kari! You got so much banging to do…

Dead sexy. That is how they describe those who got in my way. To my nemeses, you are on notice: don’t mess with my cooking or banging game! I trained in mountains of Japan not only to cook amazing Japanese dishes and bang geishas by the bushel, but to kill when necessary. Wielding a knife is already second nature to me. That’s merely in addition to my ability to climb walls with suction cups, assassinate foreign dignitaries in their sleep, and then bang their mistresses. It’s almost unfair to my rivals, but life is a series of injustices that I am slowly correcting. I have to make up for my yellow Walkman being smashed by a neighborhood bully when I was 8. If that means cooking, banging, and occasionally killing bad guys, so be it! These oysters are one of many tricks up my ninja sleeves. They render prudes powerless to control their unbridled lust. Hi-ya! Read the rest of this entry »


September 22, 2009
Oh boy, steamed bok choy!

Oh boy, steamed bok choy!

In an effort to make up for my excess of blaspheming in yesterday’s post, please accept this most healthy atonement. I never run out of praise for the Japanese culture for the joy they bring to my life from ninjas to bukake. Above all other things, I worship their healthy, yet delicious food. To make things taste that good without turning you into a sumo wrestler takes millenniums of practice. I have bedded my share of geishas using their dishes. Most of my recipes are at least influenced by Japanese low-fat cooking methods. One could say I have a Japanese fetish. But if loving a culture that create sushi, ninjas and hentai porn is wrong, than I will join the majority of the male population in screaming: Thank you oh so very very much! Now heat up some water because it’s about to get steamy up in here!

steamed bok choy prepTotal time: approximately 35 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Beer, sake or Sake Bombs!

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp soy sauce
2. 3 baby bok choy
3. ½ lemon

Step 1
Steam the baby bok choy until the leaves wilt and become bright green (approx 25-30 min). Remove from the steam, squeeze lemon over them add the soy sauce. You now have one of the most sexy, simple side dishes ever conceived by man…or samurai!
steamed bok choy make

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