Sometimes you gotta big time your salads. Sure you could serve your date up a simple green salad. But unless you’re following it up with some bodacious entrée, that date of yours will lose interest long before dessert. And that’s if they don’t fall asleep face-first in your uninspired salad. That is why I went all big pimpin’ with this salad. The hot Chiquita bonita I had over wanted something slamming that would not be expanding her sexy backside. Aye yi, la Capitan! The result: our expectations (her appetite; my libido) were surpassed. I might as well have been drinking Chardonnay out of a pimp chalice with the Cook To Bang logo written in diamonds. Read the rest of this entry »
That’s right. I’m peeping your pineapples. Is that a problem? Am I offending you by leering? I can’t help it if them apples are all that and bag of lettuce…that happens to be in my hand. I come correct when it comes to lunchtime fare. This is the perfect lunch you finally make Saturday afternoon after spending the whole morning nursing a hangover and an extended orgasm. Then again, it makes a pretty bodaciously badass dinner salad to serve with a light ENTRÉE. With greens, meats and fruit this good together, I’m sure you can let my lecherous ways slide just this once. And while we’re on the subject of sliding, slide on over this way so we can slip slide the night away. As a delicious side note: pineapple makes certain male fluids taste better. Just looking for the ladies (and a the fab fellas) with oral fixations.
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: PANTY DROPPING SHANDY
1. 1 tsp red wine vinegar
2. 3 tbsp BBQ sauce
3. ½ tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
4. 2 handfuls lettuce coarsely chopped
5. 2 handfuls pineapple cubed
6. 1 handful mozzarella shredded
7. 2 chicken breasts
8. 3 green onions chopped coarsely
Create the dressing by pureeing 1 small handful of pineapple, red wine vinegar, olive oil, and BBQ sauce.
Marinate the chicken with half the green onions and the BBQ sauce. Grill the chicken through with all of the BBQ marinade, flipping once (approx 2 min per side). Chop the chicken into bite-sized pieces.
Assemble the lettuce, pineapple, green onions, chopped chicken and toss your salad with the dressing.