August 31, 2015
You're just grillin', like Bob Dylan!
This grilled chicken salad has all the fixings that will help you get that fix. Been hard up for some attention of the leisurely kind? Fret no more that you will die celibate and alone in a shack made of cow dung deep in the wilderness. This salad should help you get back on your feet and banging once more. Just step back and allow the grilled chicken to open up the flavor in this uber-healthy salad. You can lure whichever conquest you have your heart set on with promised of a high protein, low calorie waltz on their tongue. It’s an easy dish to play off like you threw it together without so much as a second thought. You can leave the impression that this is how you always eat because you are that awesome and nonchalant. Now you’ll have plenty of time to wow the shit out of your date with other impressive qualities like the ability to read palms, take out flies with a blowgun, and give someone an orgasm from across the room. Go and get them…at your leisure. Read the rest of this entry »
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aphrodisiac, fusion, healthy, mexican, RECIPES | Tagged: apple, avocado, bang, barbecue, bbq, chicken, cilantro, delicious, DIY, easy, fast, fiber, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onion, greens, grill, grilled chicken, Grilled chicken salad recipe, guarantee, healthy salad, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, limejuice, low calorie, mexican, mexico, mix, naked, olive oil, recipe, roughage, salsa, seduce, sex, simple, soy sauce, tasty, tomato, toss, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
June 26, 2015
Beer Can Chicken got a whole lot easier.
Behold: simplified beer can chicken for 2. Sure you could go the badass route of stuffing a whole chicken with a leaking beer can, but that is both labor intensive and way too much food. This little ditty is perfect for a summer evening date outdoors. The object is to stay outside for the course of the evening. That means banging under the stars. Make like your primitive ancestors who never heard of the concept of shame or waiting until marriage. For those hairy bastards it was all banging all the time. Use the beer marinade as an excuse for your barbaric behavior. “It was the booze flavored meat that made me strip down to a fur loincloth, club you and drag you by the hair into my cave!” Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, poultry, RECIPES, summer | Tagged: ancestors, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, barbecue, barbecue rub, bastards, bbq, bbq rub, beer, beer can chicken for 2, beer can chicken recipe, booze, caveman, chicken breasts, chicken out your beer cans recipe, coals, delicious, DIY, easy, fast, fire, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, grill, grillin' like a villain, guarantee, hairy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, loincloth, marinade, marriage, naked, outdoors, primitive, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shame, summer, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 12, 2015
Grilled Nectarines reign supreme in the BBQ scene.
This is as close as you can get to grilling up sex appeal. Most grilling consists of men cooking meat for the pleasure of other men. That’s not gay. Right? But this little side dish/DESSERT breaks all the machismo boundaries and labels associated with backyard barbecues. You have the fire for the cavemen, the fruity fun for the ladies, and the sweetness for the kid in all of us. Plus these nectarines are so simple to make that you could develop quantum physic formulas simultaneously. You are running out of excuses not to make these sweet satisfactions for someone your sweet on. Best get down to the produce aisle then. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, RECIPES, southern, summer, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: backyard barbecue, bang, banging, barbecue, bbq, brown sugar, butter, caveman, cavemen, cinnamon, coals, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, fast, fire, food, game changer, gay, get laid, gourmet, grill, grilled fruit, grilled nectarine recipe, grilled sextarines recipe, grillin' like a villain, guarantee, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, machismo, naked, nectarine, quantum physics, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sex appeal, side dish, summer, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 18, 2014
Come on a banging safari with me!
The Beach Boys sang about surfing safaris. They’d travel the world surfing and singing their little hearts out. Not a bad idea, except substitute banging for surfing, and singing for grilling. Now we’re talking about a trip to remember. We can squeeze in some waves and singing while in the final throes of banging. But it’s all about beach time fun time all the time. You don’t have time to waste in the water when you have hot tanning bodies waiting for you to invite them to chill out while you grill out. Use the surfboard as a prop and hint that you just won a lifetime supply of sunscreen. Offer to rub some of your grand prize onto their shoulders and lure them over to your beach shack. Demonstrate your skills out of the water and grill them up some crazy easy, low-calorie tacos that won’t harm their swimsuit bod. Now comes the easy part of the safari. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, mexican, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: avocado, bang, banging safari, barbecue, bbq, beach, beach boys, black pepper, calamari, calamari steak, cayenne pepper, corn tortillas, delicious, DIY, easy, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, grilled calamari tacos recipe, grillin' like a villain, grilling, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, let’s go surfing now, low calorie, low fat, mexican, mexico, naked, olive oil, onion, protein, recipe, seduce, sex, shack, squid tacos, sunscreen, suntan lotion, surfboard, surfing, Surfing safari, swimsuit, tacos, tasty, tomato, water, waves, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 27, 2010
Go Big Pimpin' or go home alone.
Sometimes you gotta big time your salads. Sure you could serve your date up a simple green salad. But unless you’re following it up with some bodacious entrée, that date of yours will lose interest long before dessert. And that’s if they don’t fall asleep face-first in your uninspired salad. That is why I went all big pimpin’ with this salad. The hot Chiquita bonita I had over wanted something slamming that would not be expanding her sexy backside. Aye yi, la Capitan! The result: our expectations (her appetite; my libido) were surpassed. I might as well have been drinking Chardonnay out of a pimp chalice with the Cook To Bang logo written in diamonds. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, Cajun, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, seafood, southern | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bang, banging, barbecue, bbq sauce, bbq seasoning, bbq shrimp salad recipe, big pimpin’ bbq shrimp salad, big pimping, big time, bodacious, calivirgin, chardonnay, Chiquita bonita, cilantro, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onion, greens, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, libido, naked, olive oil, pimp chalice, recipe, red wine vinegar, salad, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shrimp, tasty, tomato, toss your salad, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 1, 2009
These shrimp are tres tres baba cool. No?
If this recipe title isn’t obvious enough, I was up in French Canada. Just call me the ambassador of morally bankrupt American diplomacy. In other words, I’m your typical ambassador. The fact I wasn’t given a motorcade and a villa with a masseuse and sushi chef is beyond me. So I did what I always, make do in style. I befriended a pair of Salopes at an art gallery who invited me over for a barbecue the next day. A bag of shrimp and I was in the door, rifling through their fridge to make something work. The ingredients below are what they had, and thank god for that! My new friends were impressed. One insisted I stay with her for a few days. Canadian-American relations have never been better.
Total time: approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $10
Drinking Buddy: Chardonnay or beer
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 onion chopper coarsely
2. 2 tbsp olive oil
3. 1 dash red CHILI flakes
4. 1 dash paprika
5. 1 dash salt
6. 2 garlic cloves chopped finely
7. 1 handful parsley chopped
8. 1 lb large SHRIMP in shells
9. ¼ lemon
Step 1
Marinate the shrimp with garlic, lemon juice, salt, paprika, red chili flakes, and 1 tbsp olive oil (approx 10 min).
Step 2
Saute the onions in the remaining olive oil until translucent (approx 3 min). Add the shrimp, spreading them out. Flip the shrimp when they pinken (approx 2 min per side). Throw in the parsley and cook another minute.
Serve these shrimp solo or with a SALAD.
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, Cajun, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: ambassador, American, bang, banging, barbecue, Canada, delicious, diplomacy, DIY, easy, food, French Canadian, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, libido, masseuse, montreal, motorcade, naked, olive oil, onion, paprika, parsley, quebec, recipe, red chili flakes, salope, salt, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shrimp, Shrimp scampi recipe, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 17, 2008
Grab me, grill me, kill me...with grilled veggies
Long before humans had microwave ovens and George Forman grills, we had fire: beautiful, enchanting, burning fire. Vegetables grilled on an open flame make them fun again. Why boil these bounties of the earth when you can bring the flavor out with fire and chutzpah? And your date will no doubt be impressed by your mastery of the elements. Short of a picky vegan, anybody can eat this fine dish and only a cold-hearted monster could say it sucks. Your bland backyard barbecue has suddenly been legitimized, thus making you the savior, sort of like Jesus, but tastier. Be sure to mention that to your conservative date who hasn’t removed their chastity belt yet. Blaspheme and grilled veggies are sure to win them over. If that doesn’t work, just use reverse psychology asking What Would Jesus Not Do? Amen.
Ingredients (for 2):
1. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
2. 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
3. 1 red bell pepper sliced into long thin strips
4. 1 small eggplant cut into large bite size chunks
5. 1 large portabella mushrooms sliced into long thin strips
6. 1 onion sliced into long thin strips
7. 2 tablespoons of goat cheese
Step 1
Place all the chopped veggies into tin foil and pour olive oil over them. Cover the oil-doused veggies with a top tinfoil layer and place in the grill on medium heat. Cook in foil until the veggies soften, then put them directly on the fire until they char slightly.
Step 2
Remove the veggies from the grill. Place them in a pan and drop the goat cheese on top. Pour the balsamic vinegar over the veggies/goat cheese and mix up thoroughly. Serve on a plate with your main course, a grilled halibut or turkey burger perhaps. Just know in your heart that you are a culinary super star and the evening should progress nicely.
1 Comment | GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, RECIPES | Tagged: balsamic vinegar, bang, barbecue, bbq, bell pepper, cheap, delicious, easy, eggplant, goat cheese, gourmet, grilled vegetables, grillin' like a villain, kitchen, naked, olive oil, onion, portabella mushroom, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, veggies | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 