FREAKY FRIED CORN-FLAKY CHICKEN

April 30, 2009
Who get's freaky?  Who do? You do!  Now freaky fry your way to shangri la!

Who get's freaky? Who do? You do! Now freaky fry your way to shangri la!

Ain’t nothing wrong with getting a little freaky in the kitchen.  I get freaky every time I walk across the linoleum.  Sometimes I’ll grind against my oven, do the old in-out with my cupboards, or just stick my hand all up in my freezer just because.  Sure I could act my age and treat the kitchen with reverence usually saved for a church.  But to me, my kitchen is my church and I am a goddamn pagan.  Getting freaky with two chicken breasts is my way of giving thanks for all the bounty and booty that comes my way.  So ladies, won’t you join me in this freaky heathen worship of the sweet and the savory?  This chicken is baked, so it is far less fatty.  That means we can get way more chatty, before I drive you batty with desire.  So don’t be bratty or catty about getting freaky.  It’s natural and oh so delicioso!

Total time: approximately 70 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a margarita

fried-chicken-prep1Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 cup of Cornflakes
2. 1 tablespoon of milk
3. 1 egg
4. ½ teaspoon of salt
5. ½ teaspoon of pepper
6. 2 chicken breasts
7. 1 green onion chopped finely
8. 1 handful of shredded Parmesan
9. 2 tablespoons of butter

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Dump the cornflakes into a bowl and punch them into submission.  Mix in the Parmesan, green onions, pepper, and salt.  In a separate bowl, mix together the egg and milk.fried-chicken-batter

Step 2
Pat dry the chicken breasts.  Dip them in the egg/milk mixture and then stick the meat in the cornflake breading mixture, making sure both sides are coated.  Place in a baking pan.  Melt the butter in a pan and pour it over the breaded chicken.  Throw it all into the oven and bake until the chicken is crispy on the outside and cooked through on the inside (approx 1 hour).

fried-chicken-dip-butter-bake

Serve with GARLIC GOING ON MASHED POTATOES.

fried-chicken-served-2

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FUN YOUNG ONION RINGS

April 27, 2009
Become the Lord of the Onion Rings

Become the Lord of the Onion Rings

It’s hard to say no to someone who is fun and young (and legal, obviously).  The same goes for a delicious side order liked baked onion rings.  These finger foods are lower in fat so it doesn’t feel like a brick floating in your rotting guts.  That’s one less reason to not get laid.  These will keep you satisfied, but limber enough to make your move.  Your date won’t complain about these rings being too oily and ruining their favorite outfit when you put your ungreasy paws all over them.  So grope away like Frodo, the Lord of the Onion Rings.

Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Beer or soda

onion-rings-prepIngredients:
1. 1 cup of cornflakes
2. 1 teaspoon of Cajun seasoning
3. 1 tablespoon of sugar
4. ½ teaspoon of salt
5. 1 egg
6. 1 onion cut into ½ rounds, then rings separated

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.  First crush the cornflakes without pulverizing them. Combine together with Cajun seasoning, salt and sugar.  In a separate bowl, beat an egg thoroughly.  Dip the separated onion rings in the egg and then the cornflake breading.
onion-rings-batter
Step 2
Lay each dipped onion ring on a greased baking sheet.  Throw into the oven and cook until the breading is crispy and clings to the onions (approx 20-25 min).  Use a spatula to pry each onion ring off.  Serve them up on a plate with your favorite condom-ment or with a SINWICH.
onion-rings-bakeonion-rings-served-2

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