O-FACED OATMEAL

July 1, 2015

When your date says “Oh!” you say “Yeah!”

Oh boy! Oh man! Oh god! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (to NKTOB groove)! These are just some of the many reactions I have heard to making oatmeal CTB style. We’ve all eaten instant oatmeal, mostly during childhood, although some of us (my friends know who I speak of) still gobble that shit up. But what about the rest of whose taste buds haven’t matured beyond a 6-year-old, their fingers stained with Kool-Aid? Oatmeal can be something other than a bland exercise in self-restraint. But why not have the best of both worlds? Nutrition and flavor can still give each other lap dances with the right amount of TLC. And that’s what this recipe is all about. Here’s to the one sleeping in your bed who’s waking up to a big surprise. Expect them to be smiling like a donut. Read the rest of this entry »


STROKE MY BANANAS FOSTER

August 16, 2010
Only sexy monkeys deserve to taste these bananas
Only sexy monkeys deserve to taste these bananas

The South will rise again…in your mouth.  I do declare!  This outstanding Southern Cuisine classic is a sure fire way of impressing even that skeptical date who sneered at the 4-course meal you’ve already served.  Your caveman instinct will kick in like a racehorse back-kick to the cranium the moment you combine fire and food.  Putting an amazing dessert on fire is like thunking a cave-babe over the head with a club and dragging her into the cave (works on cave-dudes too).  The bananas sweet crispy outside gives way to a hot creamy center that is begging for some culinary cunnilingus.  The extra Foster sauce works like a much-need lube that allows you to navigate the sweet and rummy flavors.  And you can always cool it all down with dip in the melting ice cream pool.  Prepare to have your mind and possibly something else blown.

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